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Letters to Nowhere

Monday, August 30, 2004

Making a list

In 9 days, almost to the hour, I will be flying for the first time. I've been a list making fool for the last 2 days.

I called the Canadian consulate located in Atlanta Georgia and they strongly recommended I have a birth certificate with me upon entering and exiting Canada. So, I added a new entry to my list today. I can get a copy in the next 9 days. But, it will cost me. $34 for a birth certificate with Rush delivery. Better safe than sorry, however. So it is money well spent.

I'm making lists of what to pack. I always forget either my deodorant or my toothbrush. Never fails! If I forget my digital camera I will probably shoot myself. So a list is needed.

I've got more sticky notes on my computer at home than the one at work as a result of my "oh, I gotta jot that down so I remember to add it to list 3-B amendment iii." LOL

So, that's what I've been doing with my time. Every time I get something marked off a To-Do list 2 things show up to take it's place.

I told my beau about the "sometimes they come back" experience before he read it. I thought that would be wise. He was not at all displeased that I used him as "my foil" for that situation. He gave me a go ahead to do so again in the future if needed.. in fact he said (and I quote) "I'll encourage it; I'll cheer you on........"

Sometimes friends can give good advice.. Sometimes as good as the advice is.. it's just too funny NOT to share. May I present good advice copied and pasted from the loving woman's own mouth .. uhh IM.. whatever lol

"ok so small word of advice...ahem...clears throat...DON'T Neet your beaver the DAY BEFORE your trip if ya wanna be all um purdy like down in the nether regions ...I been there done that and almost burned my twat off"

--- You may now return to your regularly scheduled lives.. I have a list (or 3) to make. ;)

Sunday, August 29, 2004

Sometimes they come back

I was woken up 45 mins ago by "The Mistake". Ladies, you know the one. The one that was so clearly wrong you cringe just a bit every time you think of him.

He was a friend of my mother's and her husband. At the time he was what I needed. We were friends that did everything a "real" couple do. We cared for each other but there was never any love. He brought me out of my anti-man phase and forced me from my self imposed isolation cell. For that I can thank him. I've not seen him for quite some time. He's been in jail. He knocked up at 16 yr old girl while I was seeing him. Which explains why I stopped seeing him. He fenced stolen goods (mine). But it seems he's out now and was at a party about 3 miles from my house. His ride home left with out him. Soo..

At 8:45 am he's knocking on my door. I answer it..

Me: oh boy, what are you doing here?
TM: I need a ride home, me and my friend.

Ok he smells of beer, I really don't want to get into a fight before I've even had a chance to pick the eye boogers out of the corner of my eyes. Damn it.. why did I answer the door?

He pulled me into a too familiar embrace and I turned my head as he tried to kiss me.

Me: I thought you were married, I said as I push him away.
TM: No, I'm divorced now.

Ok Ladies and gents, I'll admit I wasn't thinking clearly so I did something I don't usually do.. I lied.. and I lied BIG.

Me: Well, you may be divorced, but I'm not..

It had the desired result.. he took another step away from me
TM: (incredulously) You're married?
Me: Yes, I am.
TM: Where's your husband?
Me: Visiting family in Canada.
TM: oh

I go into the bedroom, yelling at him to make coffee over my shoulder, I close the door FIRMLY behind me and get dressed. I know him you see.. If I don't take him home I'm gonna spend the next hour trying to get him out of my house.

I come out dressed. There is the "friend" sitting on my couch. He's a kid, maybe 19.. thanking me profusely, and clearly uncomfortable to have woken me up. I get my coffee.. come on boys, lets get this over with so I can go back to bed. I drive them the 15 or so miles to the kids house. Drop them and never look back.

Damn it, I was sleeping GOOD too. Now of course I cant go back to sleep. Be careful... sometimes they come back.

Saturday, August 28, 2004

60 questions to waste my time

You are a RPIG--Reserved Practical Intellectual Giver. This makes you a Rock of Gibraltar.

You are loyal, kind, thoughtful and conscientious. You're a good person. You make everyone around you happier and better, even if you yourself are not at your happiest or best. You just care so much about your friends and loved ones that you can't help giving them everything of yourself. It can wear you out, but you'd never let on.

You're successful, smart and fun to be with, but your self-esteem could use some boosting. You don't like conflict, and you don't like demanding things for yourself, so you can feel unappreciated. But then you wonder if you don't deserve to be appreciated. You do! You have many small crushes, but it takes you ages to get to a serious stage with someone. You get so caught up second-guessing yourself and worrying if the other person really *likes* likes you that you never dare to make the first move.

Generally you end up with another clever RPIG who knows one when s/he sees one. This adds up to one long courtship. Fortunately this also adds up to one long marriage. You would never cheat. You would never hurt anyone's feelings. You are so sympathetic and give so many second chances that it takes a lo-o-ong time for anyone to get on your bad side. Your only problem is you can be *too* thoughtful -- you can end up worrying and getting hung up over nothing.

20 questions to being a Better Person
Your score as a human being is 85.25.
You are close to ideal. So close, and yet so far. Amusing, really, to watch someone squirm so close to the vaunted ranks of perfection and still remain so very, very ordinary. It is all one can do to keep one's ingratiating smile from polluting one's perfect face.Actually, one recommends you take the quiz again and lie a little.

20 Questions to a Better Personality
You are a SEDF--Sober Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you a Evil Genius.You are extremely focused and difficult to distract from your tasks. With luck, you have learned to channel your energies into improving your intellect, rather than destroying the weak and unsuspecting.Your friends may find you remote and a hard nut to crack. Few of your peers know you very well--even those you have known a long time--because you have expert control of the face you put forth to the world. You prefer to observe, calculate, discern and decide. Your decisions are final, and your desire to be right is impenetrable.You are not to be messed with. You may explode.

There is nothing quite so pleasing as seeing someone again after a few months and hearing "my god you look great! How much have you lost?". Especially when that someone is family and wouldn't lie about it. Even better when you've been having a serious complex over having gained weight due to a recent broken ankle.

That was the highlight of my otherwise very droll day. I cleaned, mowed, and played with the kid. I had lunch with my brother, got my eyes double checked and picked up my new contact lenses. Not bad, but not really entertaining or interesting for that matter.

Friday, August 27, 2004

Birth Control Reminder

Silence.. ahh The peace and quiet. I'm enjoying it. For the last hour I've had 3 kids in my house. My son, 7 and 2 neighbors kids. One of which is 5 the other 4. Dear GOD! I thought my son was a motor mouth. And my nerves are shot from keeping the 4 yr old from touching stuff.

I have a very eclectic decorating style. Alot of my things took a long time to track down and most weren't cheap. My son knows what he's allowed to touch and not touch. So I don't give too much thought to what I put where. My house is no longer kid proof.. because my kid knows better.

So all this "cool stuff" was just a kid magnet today. ACK!! put down the Galileo thermometer, No No No you cant turn all the hourglasses. So help me, kid if you put one more hand on my $100 Buddha somebody is gonna die! No you cant rifle through my hard back book collection looking for pictures, put it down, sit down, don't pull the cat's tail, stop touching that, leave it alone, the cat will bite, no running in the house, don't tap on the fish tank, no you cant hold the lizard, lower your voice, no you cant see whats in the fridge, that is MY room close the door. ARRRGGGG.... I have been in kiddie HELL!

They all just left.... all I hear at the moment is the soft wrr of the ceiling fan. Bliss!

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Another day in paradise

There has been a very hectic amount of absolutely nothing happening in my life lately.

I've applied for a promotion and there is ALOT of prework to do before I can be evaluated. So forgive me for not schmoozing as much as usual. I spoke to my supervisor today about making sure I wouldn't be disqualified for the job due to the fact I am not going to be at work for 10 days in Sept. He said, "Well I might need to call you in to do a presentation or something. If so I'll call you at home to let you know when to come in"

My amused laughter didn't please him. When he asked why I was laughing at that I told him it would cost the company at least $1000 for me to come in for one day and do a presentation. His look of shock set me to chuckling again. WHAT!!!! he says. That is when I calmly informed him I would be out of the country. Hmm ok... well we'll make arrangements for you then, he informs me. Thanks Jim, I appreciate that, really. I mean this IS the first vacation I've taken in 3 yrs.

I took my son down to sign him up for boy-scouts today. We are sitting in a hot and surprisingly crowded room listening to a woman that was approx 45 minutes older than dirt. Everyone else is dead silent since she was talking softly. At this point my lovely and cherished son leans over to pick something off the floor... and farts.. not a little "pbbt" fart... a "whoooooooooooonk pbbt pbbt" fart. It sounded like an 18 wheeler hitting his jake breaks. I was mortified. Everyone in the room cranes their necks to see who in the holy hell farted that loud and long. I've got my head down, my hand over my eyes, and shaking my head. My son takes this moment to say "Sorry mom, it was an accident" in a bright cheerful LOUD voice. Chuckles, giggles and a general wave of mirth flowed out from us like ripples in a pond. I would have welcomed a piano falling on me at that moment!

And, as if that wasn't enough, I was propositioned, in very crude terms, by a disgusting, dirty, and creepy guy while I was pumping gas after the boyscout meeting. My response of "I'd rather eat rat poison, and wash it down with battery acid" wasn't taken well. But, I think he got the hint. He wandered away mumbling something about fat bitches. My work here is done!

So how was your day?

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Let your fingers do the talking

Crap, I just posted a blog-length comment to SFG's story lol.. shame on me.. one of these days I'll tell the story here. At least my wild days (long since past) have prepared me for about anything. I'm all but unshockable lol.

I've got some explaining to do

Just out of curiosity I took a peek in my bulk mail box today. Wow.. seems I've been writing emails in my sleep! As we all know Re: means they are answering a request I sent to them.. OMG whatever shall I tell my beau...

From: Boggiest H. Armory Re: Hot Woman Eating Guys Ass

Hmmm I cant think of a Boggiest Armory I might have written to.. or why I'd be writing to them about hot woman eating guys ass. Oh boy.. what could turn me on more!?!?! I mean how can I NOT remember sending this inquiry off. Just what I've always wanted to see! Really, I've seen lots of ass kissing.. but ass eating.. now that's a change of pace! Come to think of it.. watching someone ass kissing makes me want to jab my eyes out w/ a paper clip.. so No thanks..

From: Yea Baby RE: SEXUALLY- EXPLICIT: Meet Your Date Tonight

Dear Yea Baby.. Umm NO If my date, that I meet tonight, is going to be sexually explicit.. guess what .. I'm not going to meet them! Call me crazy but my days of screwing on a first date are behind me.. for that matter did I ever screw on a first date? Umm let me think... Ok just that one time w/ Sean Connery, or was it Patrick Stewart, no no I think it was .. oh who can keep up with them all! Thanks I'll pass!

From: Lennie Larisa Janice WE SHIIP TO ALL COUNTRIES: Increace yor penis bye 2 to 4 inches in just minutes a day!

Boy! Is Les gonna be surprised when I show up with a penis? You betcha!

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Perfect Pork chop

Thursday I started thinking it would be nice to have a pork chop for dinner on Friday. I pulled one out of the freezer and set it out to thaw.

When I got to work Friday I realized I didn't have my ATM card, or checkbook with me. A peek in the wallet revealed $ 0.35, a band-aide and a bottle cap redeemable for a free coke yippee! Clearly buying lunch was out of the question. So, I spent most of the day lusting for my pork chop, mmm pork chop (in my best homer simpson voice).

I was all but drooling as I cooked it. And, ladies and gents... I made a GREAT pork chop. It was beautiful. It looked like the pork (the one you love) you see on TV ads and billboards. It was sublime looking piece of pig. I'm sure non-pork eating people worldwide felt an involuntary twinge as I lifted it from the pan and put it ever so gently onto my plate.

This pork chop looked so damn good that I decided it would be a one man show. No side dishes needed tonight! I carried it to the table.. grabbed my knife and fork.. reverently stuck my fork into it and lowered the knife. There was an involuntary increase in salivation, my lips puckered slightly.. As I took the first pass of the knife disaster struck.

Clearly, I had not pushed the plate all the way onto the table. It flipped like a tiddly-wink and I was staring with dumb horror as my perfect pork chop first landed into my lap and then cascaded to the floor.

There was about 10 seconds where I was frozen with incredulous disbelief. Then the cursing began! I went on a tirade for a good 30 seconds, combining various offensive words in ways that would have made Obi proud. I should have written it down, really. In retrospect, it was probably my finest (?) hour in cursing.

So, I pick up the pork chop to find.... cat hair.. lots of cat hair... my cat has taken to sleeping under the table. GRRR My day of pork lust was ruined!

After a brief debate... I took it to the sink.. gave it a thorough scrubbing and ate the damn thing anyway! And you know what... It was still pretty damn good!

Next Blog

I love the new Nav bar at the top of the bloggs. I can use the view next to find all kinds of interesting, and to be fair, boring bloggs. I few things I saw today.. one of the funniest quotes I've seen in a long time, and a few new quizzes.

"Either I have a problem, or my fish is narcoleptic, cause it gets more sleep then me........ "
I about died laughing. This is often true with me, because my insomnia can be so bad that I only sleep an hour a night. So I related to that for a different reason. Still I thought the quote was hilarious.

The quiz. It has terrible pix so I deleted the "hub" image.. but hey its a quiz. And you know I'm a quiz ho.
Category I - The Hub
You're a 'people person'. Networking runs in your
blood. Consequently, you can move through most
social circles with ease.

What Type of Social Entity are You?
brought to you by

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??

Phoenix:Phoenixes are litterally birds of fire. They are
brave and majestic and have the ability to be
reborn from their own ashes. You are strog
willed an confident- a true leader. Although
you can get down in the dumps occasionaly you
are never there for long. Many people flock
around you and like you as a friend.

What Mythological Creature Are You (Many Results and Beautiful Pics)

Friday, August 20, 2004


Sorry I've not been around much lately. I have chronic insomnia, but for the last few nights I've been ready for bed by 11:30 or 12. And when I can sleep, I take full advantage of it. So, maybe I'll see you tomorrow. Luv ya. G'night.

Aww Alert

A kitten watches fire Capt. Levy Davis try to revive its mother at a house fire in In Bowling Green, Ky. The oxygen did the trick, and both cats, along with a third, were taken to the Humane Society.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

It's official

I applied for, and was approved, for a "loan" to finance my trip up north. I wish everything else was official but there are still to many variables that I don't know the answer to for me to plan everything at this moment.

The 9th is quickly approaching and I have so much to do, arrange, and plan for. I checked out the web site for the Atlanta airport last night to check on long term parking. $9 a day! You gotta be kidding! I'm having a hard time getting used to the idea of renting a parking space for 10 days and it costing me a hundred freaking dollars! So, now who can I bum a ride from.. hmmm
Hopefully my brother will not be working and can take me to the airport.

Official panic mode .. mayday.. mayday ..
I've never flown so I have NO idea what to do at an airport, sad huh. Surfing the site helped calm me a bit. And I have plenty of time to obsess over it in the upcoming days. lol I was reading the list of things you are NOT allowed to have in your carry on baggage.. and saw .. meat cleaver. Am I the only one that wonders why this would be on the list? Seriously, how many people routinely carry meat cleavers on their person?

So far, it seems my carry on will be filled w/ electronics of various types. My PDA, GPS receiver, digital camera, rechargeable batteries and charger etc are all on the list of things not to put in checked baggage because the screening used could "potentially damage or destroy the sensitive electronic components".

Oh, Boy is this gonna be fun, fun, fun, or what! (can you feel the sarcasm?)

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Cell phone or insanity?

I was watching a middle aged man stand facing a wall today. He was having quite an animated conversation with it. Sometimes raising his voice and gesturing wildly.

Now before cell phones and particularly hands free cell phones I wouldn't have been having the inner debate that followed. I'm watching him and thinking, wistfully, and longingly, about the time when I could have safely labeled him crazy and moved on with my life.

But not anymore. Now I watch him, half amused, half curious. Cell phone, or insane? Hmm.. I never did get to figure it out before my lunch break was over.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Honey, on your way home from work

Don't forget to pick up some bread, milk, toilet paper and a casket.

Huh? A casket? It seems that Costco (a bulk warehouse store) has decided to give casket sales a try. Maybe it's just me but I really don't want to be walking through a store w/ the bulk size box of ho-hos, a 24 pack of toilet paper, and a case of wine and see caskets.

Call me crazy.. but that's just .. tacky!

Where, exactly, do you set up a nice casket display in a Costco/Sam's type place? "Oh, look honey, they've got red meat on sale.. oh and look at that lovely steel casket! Grab those Twinkie and lets go ahead and start planning for the day we will die." Nothing, I mean NOTHING, encourages me to return to a retail store like being reminded that half of what you sell will eventually KILL me.

I mean really.. you don't see them selling neck braces at the fair do ya? When was the last time you saw a combination Bungee Jumping platform/Wheelchair sales outlet?

Maybe it's just me...

Monday, August 16, 2004

LOL.. Now imagine him singing the "Beverly Hillbillies" theme song  Posted by Hello

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Slimy Sunday

After doing my normal mommy duties and cleaning house today I went to see my brother. (who still has not gotten his truck fixed.. but anyway)

We went to pick a few things up for him, and joy rode for awhile. Once we got back to his place we decided to clean out the pond. Eww.. The pump has been broken for quite some time and the water was BLACK. The only thing living in it was frogs.

Ok pump fixed.. ready set go. We start the pump and get the water directed out of the pond. Ack! The stench was almost unbearable. It was that true decaying bog smell. While trying to get the water out, he managed to drench me with the outflow from the pump. Thanks John!

When I got back from changing he was using the net to scrape dead leaves and snails from the bottom. Gerk.. ugh more smell. He was cussing and grimacing. I was snickering and watching from a good distance away. Being the good, loving sister I am, I did get the brush and start scrubbing the walls of the pond down.

All in all, it was a good afternoons work. We got the pond about 3/4 cleaned when I had to head back home.

Mom called.. oh joy! It was more normal mom crap. I just let it wash over and off me. Saying, I don't know what to tell you and uh huh is really all that was expected of me (thankfully).

So not much to tell. Which is something of a relief, to be honest. Hope your day was exactly what you wanted, slow and lazy, or busy and productive. >:D<

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Dear Craig

I got up at 9 am this morning because I had some running around to do. I picked up my brother to take him to get his truck. It broke down last week. The mechanic, Craig, said it would be ready Friday.. It wasn't. He said it would be ready today by Noon.. We called at 11:00 to see when it would be ready and how much it would cost. "I'll call you right back with that", said Craig.

Hmm.. Its been umm 4 hours. No Craig.

I told my brother he's really got to learn to aggravate the crap outta people to get stuff done sometimes. He just called and left Craig a message (at 2:30 pm). Here's what I propose to happen next:

Oh Craig isn't answering his phone.. so these will be messages left for him .. or would be if it was MY truck lmao

2:45.. Hey Craig, Its John (my brother) . You said you'd call me "right back".. that was 3 hours ago. Here's my number in case you lost it. I'll be waiting for your call.

3:06... Hey Craig, John here. Listen I'm at my sister's waiting for you. Please call as soon as possible.

3:27 Craig, dude.. Is my truck ready yet. You promised me, when I talked to you yesterday it would be done by lunch.. Well, I don't know about you .. but my lunch was like 3 hours ago.. call me

3:52 Craig.. hey man.. listen.. is my truck ready yet? Really man.. I gotta work tomorrow.

4:12 Craaaaaigggg.. are you there? Pick up... I knoooooow you can hearrrrr meeeee! Pick up dude

4:43 Craig.. I'm really starting to worry about you dude.. is everything ok. You said you'd call right back.. that was like 5 hours ago. I hope you're alright

4:47 Craig, its john. Really like did my truck fall on you or what?

5:12 CRAIG, Dude.. I'm .. I'm like really worried .. is there anyone I should call? Oh and is my truck ready yet?

5:27 (sobbing, and sniffling) Craig, I'm really really disappointed in you man.. I thought we had an understanding.. I cant believe you'd let me down like this. I didn't think you would lie to me like this. I feel so.. so.. used.. sniffle, sob

5:32 Craig, listen man.. I'm sorry I've had a few beers while waiting for your "right back" call 6 hours ago. Sorry dude I get emotional when I drink

5:34 Oh and Craig is my truck ready yet?

5:57 CRAIG, my girlfriend wants to go out tonight. I cant have my sister drive me to pick her up. Hurry up dude@!!!!! If I miss out on a good lay over this I'm gonna be pissed!

6:12 Fuck you Craig, where the hell are you?

6:14 Sorry Craig I've been drinking some more.. Oh and is my truck ready yet?

LMAO I'm the kinda person to do "some" of this.. No I wouldn't call Craig every 15 mins.. and the drunken episode wouldn't happen. But I would be bugging the shit out of him. Hell he's promised my brother the truck would be ready Thur.. then Friday.. Then Sat by noon.. It's almost 3. He hasn't returned any of the calls we have made..

Craig is an "real" mechanic.. with a business. Recommended to us by someone I trust implicitly. I have told them of our Craig troubles and they are quite upset. I hope I dont answer the phone when Craig calls. It might not be pretty.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Blah Blah Blah

aka... I'm in a funk.

Define a funk, you ask? Ok.. It's apathy. Nothing more, nothing less.

I'm restless, bored, and all around.. well.. in a funk. I can think of many things I'd love to be doing but can't for some reason. But, if truth be told even the things I'd "love" to be doing don't hold much interest for me right now. The one thing that would interest me.. enough to de-funk-ify me.. is out of my reach at the moment. C'est la vie.

So, why am I in a funk? I really don't know. It's not PMS. It's not depression. I think it's just stress more than anything. I went by and saw my brother for a few bit tonight and that was ok. We had a few great laughs, split the cost of a pizza from our meager funds, and played with the kid.

Maybe it's not apathy, maybe it's a touch of loneliness. Hell, I don't know. Truth be told I'm a bit wistful tonight, though I'll do my best to hide it. If anyone shows up to talk to that is lol. I miss the old gang in chat. The room was full, we knew each other, we had great times, we gossiped, comforted each other. I feel like I'm missing part of my family. I know why most of us went our separate ways. And I think most everyone does. But, shit I'd love to have the old gang together. Picking on pervs, flirting meaninglessly with each other, teasing our friends, sharing our stories. Oh well.

I feel like I've drifted away from most of the friends I did have. For many many reasons. I learned that alot of the "friends" I had, weren't. And as a result I pulled away from everyone for quite some time. Sorry guys... I was deeply and fundamentally disappointed/hurt by several people and I retreated.. my fault. So now I try to rebuild what has eroded during my self imposed exile. Try to establish new ties. But it can be hard. I often feel like I'm on the out side looking in. Again.. My fault .. I know. However..

I'm going to play some loud music, dance like no one is watching (thankfully no one is), and come back refreshed and hopefully de-funk-ified. It usually works when nothing else will. Wish me well.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

The "Klan" Story

Ok .. here's how my son almost got us killed one day.. LOL

My son has dyslexia.. something we have been working on for a long time. So, when he was learning his letters, we made a point of calling out the "Big Letter" on signs. Now I think most of you are familiar w/ K-mart. Lol, can you see where this is going?

Ok let me paint the scene.. rush hour traffic.. Macon, Georgia which has a large population of black/African American people. We are driving down the road middle of summer 2 years ago. No air in the car. Windows down.

We approach the K-mart, which is going out of business, so they have all these little signs along the road. K-mart this way! K-marts closing, save big! don't miss the K-mart sell out!.. as we pull up to a red light my son sees these three signs... all of which have BIG K's on them. Like the good, obedient, and well trained kid he is .. he cries out the 3 big letters... KKK.. O-M-F-G!!!!

This is NOT good! Right next to us .. not 8 feet away at the bus stop.. 3 very large, very (suddenly) unfriendly black men are staring at us in mingled fury and shock.. they start approaching the car.. this, my friends, is where I PANIC. I'm reaching across the car furiously rolling up the window, no power windows here!, and saying shut up, shut up , shut up!!! to my son. (something I never say, or allow to be said btw, shut up is one of my pet peeves) as one of the men reaches for the door handle I lose it and run the red light..

So, tell me again how all those "identify letters in your environment" exercises helped his dyslexia.. all they helped that day was my dry cleaner.. helped him get rich from cleaning my soiled drawers.. lol

Umm.. anyone want a kid.. I got one cheap!

Monday, August 09, 2004

I've missed pain

My son and I went out caching yesterday. In total we walked 3 miles. And I pushed him "as fast as you can momma" on that merry go round for another 20 mins. I'm actually liking the odd aches and pains I have as a result. I feel pretty good.

Of course the pain does remind me that we've not been getting enough exercise... something I enjoy .. no really.. I do!

My legs and feet are fine.. I have no problem walking, what some would see as, obscene distances at a fairly good pace. When I cache by myself a good 12 - 16 miles of hiking over two days is not unheard of. Mostly on unsure footing, woods, and the like. Heck, I've bushwhacked 3 miles one way, busting my own trail through undergrowth on deer trails, to be the first to find a new hidden box of trinkets.

My back.. now my back muscles have been protesting the twisting and pulling the merry go round required. Which of course prompted me to punish them more lol... So I logged a good 15 mins in on the row machine today.

It's been since before I broke my ankle that I've done that much sweating.. or felt so good about it. I really enjoy that greasy sweaty feeling that says I'm doing something good for me. Just because I want too.. not just because I need to.

Now 15 mins on the row machine might not sound like much.. but as my mom pointed out in her usual tactless way, I'm getting fat again. I've gain 15 lbs since I broke my ankle and had to stop caching. So I'm going to have to work my way up again. But gods it felt good!

So week days I'll be rowing.. weekends I hope to be caching.. though that's going to be a challenge, I've found most of the ones within 25 miles of me. Still, I love the hiking, the hidden parks I didn't know about, the old log cabins in the middle of nowhere, the overlooks, the lakes, the rivers.. so you see it's not all about trinkets in boxes.

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Sunday Fun!

My son and I went Geocaching today. Something we enjoy very much. Long story short, it's a treasure hunt of sorts. You have a Global Positioning System (GPS) receiver and download the coordinates to hidden boxes of "stuff" from the net. Then you go find it. We've now located over 100 and gotten some really cool stuff out of them. You find the box, sign the log book and make a trade from the trinkets inside. It's great exercise, you see some stunning scenery and hey the kid gets loot! Heck, I get loot. My haul today included a Billie Holiday CD, a US Air force magnate, and a "signature card" from fellow cachers. I always leave the same thing. A red clover key chain, a piece of foreign currency and an old fashioned skeleton key.. thats my signature trade item. James got a gooey eyeball, a treasure planet lapel pin, and a goosebumps notebook w/ a mummy on the front.

So.. here's some pix.

Lake Posted by Hello

is there more? Posted by Hello

Our 100th find!  Posted by Hello

Lovely wooded area we tromped through Posted by Hello

wooded Posted by Hello

Where's my freaking head! Posted by Hello

The Loot Posted by Hello

Coming off the trail Posted by Hello

James on the merry-go-round... wow is the date on my camera wrong or what lol Posted by Hello

Do you know Mork?

The people who are starting college this year across the nation were born in 1986-1987:

  • They have no idea you can make popcorn without using a microwave
  • They don't remember when the Soviet Union broke apart, and do not remember the Cold War.
  • "The Day After" is a pill to them, not a movie.
  • They are too young to remember the Space shuttle blowing up, and Tianamin Square means nothing to them.
  • Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
  • They never had a Polio shot, and likely, do not know what it is.
  • Bottle caps have not only always been screw off, but have always been plastic.
  • They have no idea what a pull top can looks like.
  • Atari pre-dates them, as do vinyl albums.
  • They have likely never played Pac Man, and have never heard of Pong.
  • There have always been Red M&M's, and Blue ones are not new. What do you mean there used to be beige ones?
  • The Compact Disc was introduced when they were 1 year old.
  • As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 36 cents. Zip codes have always had a dash in them.
  • They have always had an answering machine.
  • Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black and white TV.
  • They have always had cable. There have always been VCR's, but they have no idea what Beta is.
  • They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
  • They were born the year that Walkmen were introduced by Sony.
  • They have never heard of King Cola, Burger Chef, The Globe Democrat, Pan AM or Ozark Airlines.
  • The Tonight Show has always been with Jay Leno.
  • They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
  • The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as WWI, WWII or even the Civil War.
  • They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
  • They never heard the terms "Where's the beef?", "I'd Walk a mile for a Camel",or "de plane, de plane!".
  • They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. is. The Cosby Show, The Facts of Life, Silver Spoons, The Love Boat, Miami Vice, WKRP in Cincinnati, and Taxi are shows they have likely never seen.
  • Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not groups.
  • McDonalds never came in Styrofoam containers.

Chicken and Rice

My mother is/was in town this weekend and I got a call from her yesterday to bring some rice so she could make chicken and rice for dinner. Having not seen her in quite some time, I headed over with my son.

All and all, the evening went well. Rick, my mother's husband, and my brother were drinking beer, mom had wild turkey, I had coffee. So it made for an interesting night lol. We played cards, watched a few movies, had a few tense moments that I smoothed over, you know, the usual family stuff. I came home with lots of odds and ends that I found over at mom's. I of course would make the announcement.. this is coming home with me.. mom would look at it and say OK. Going to mom's is something like going to a garage sale or thrift store.

I tried using voice chat at mom's house.. man is her mic sensitive. My brother says he has to wrap it in a towel before he can use it lol.

About 11:30 the men made another beer run and mom and I, sitting out on the deck, talked about things that have been needed to be said for a long time. She's not a bad woman. She's just indecisive and too easily swayed but others. I love my family. But sometimes it's hard to like them. Odd huh?

Friday, August 06, 2004

Cross my heart and hope to die

Sometimes I miss being a kid. Those were the days. You were gonna live forever, be friends forever, and marry a kind white knight with a million dollar bank account.

Now I find myself struggling with the normal "real life" issues of adult hood I look back fondly on some of the things of my childhood....

"I Cross My Heart And Hope to Die, Stick A Needle In My Eye"
Uttered as a sign of life long silence, one of the most binding vows of personal sacrifice you could make. This, generally, was spoken w/ accompanying hand gestures to assure you were giving it all due official pomp and ceremony before being told the secret to end all secrets. If you were asked to cross your heart, you knew .. just knew it was going to be a really good tidbit of childhood drama. The wait was almost good enough to warrant a pee-pee dance of anticipation. Subjects of suitable significance for a "Cross my heart moment" were likely to be: 1. A kiss from a crush 2. Some tidbit of sexual knowledge gleaned while eavesdropping on an older sibling 3. Any of a dozen "he said, she said, I heard from my brother's girlfriend's cousin's best friend" stories.. Ahh those were the days

The "Dare"
The dare started out tame enough. I dare ya!, could be heard all over playgrounds and kid hang outs. Ohhhh, then I double dare ya! Ouch, you could feel the winds of the world calm and waiting to hear your response.. Oh please.. please.. not the "I Double DOG dare you!" Ok now the very earth its self trembles slightly on its axis. To back down from a Double Dog Dare was reason enough to hang your head in shame.. slink off the playground.. change your name.. and move to some uninhabited piece of Brazilian rain forest. Nothing, nothing I say, struck fear in the hearts of more children then the Double Dog Dare...
Now the "Dare" is still alive and well, as seen in this riveting news story involving: 2 Men, 2 thongs, and a crowded Walmart.

"Pinky Promise"
This was the childhood version of the Notarized Letter of Intent. This was a promise best made with witnesses. It was WAYYY more official than a "regular promise" because... well, because there is nothing more sacred than giving your word while your pinky finger is curled around someone else's pinky! In the way back when a deal was sealed with a handshake, but in my childhood it was always the Pinky Promise that was KING!

"Thumb Wrestling"
Wow, what better way to decide who gets the last Oreo cookie than to challenge your contender to a heated match of thumb wrestling! It was quicker, less painful, and just as morally satisfying as a good thrashing. Your pride was just as wounded as if you'd gotten your butt stomped. This was usually a best 2 out of 3. My father and I would thumb wrestle over who got to hold the remote, where we went to eat, if I could stay up an extra half hour on a Friday night.. you know those life altering decisions. And GOD forbid you lost... We'd rub it in the others faces for hours. A victory dance was not unheard of. We would often take a pen and draw little olive wreaths on the winning digit. Did I ever tell ya I loved my father? LOL

So, when you go back to work Monday and someone asks you to do something disagreeable.. challenge them to a good thumb wrestling to see if you have to do it. Tell them you'll only accept the additional work load if they will "pinky promise that you will get that next promotion", or if all else fails you can lean over to your co-worker and Double Dog Dare them to tell the big man He's a poo-poo head, spotty bootie. Hey worse case scenario you get the day off for being overstressed... you just can't lose!

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Be Fri and St Ends

I heard from my bestest ever friend today. After many months of us not talking to each other we talked for about 30 mins before I had to go to "Open House" at my son's school.

This is a woman I've known since... gee let me think.... I was 12 yrs old. Both of us fat kids, intelligent, and just happen to live at the same apartments and swimming in the same pool one day. From there a life long friendship was born.

When we were 14 or 15 she moved to Hawaii, we still kept in touch. Years went by that we didn't see each other but we still talked at least once a month. When I was 17 I drove 8 hrs (after a long night partying and against my father's wishes) one January 1st to spend 2 days with here in North Carolina where her great grandmother lives. We saw Pelican Brief, in the theater that weekend.

We had a great time. Years pass, the next time I saw her.. she had flown from one corner of the country to another (from Oregon to Georgia) to be with me for the birth of my son. She was in the delivery room with me when he graced me with his presence..

It's now been 7 years and 7 months since I've seen her, but she's never been far from my thoughts either. No matter where we've gone or how different our life paths have become.. we always find each other. No matter how many times we've moved, we've always gotten back in touch. And we always pick up right where we left off. I love her, always will. THAT is what friends are all about.

I've been blessed.

My own contentions

I have to share my loves concerns about seeing her for the first time. There ARE many things that worry me, not the least of which is the timing. There will be a short time between the end of my term here at college, and the beginning of whatever job I happen to procure. Also, location, location, location. Where is she going to be going?

As I sit here, preparing breakfast, and looking forward to my classes and the intense, but tedious tinkering with a computer trainer, I muse. We both have self-esteem issues, and worry that the wonderful relationship we currently enjoy will undergo a dramatic change, once we lay eyes on each other. Yes, this is ridiculous, but we worry, nevertheless. But mostly, we both worry that the visit will be problematic. I will be between residences, and between jobs. My family is chiefly worried that this relationship will negatively impact my schooling. Again, ridiculous. So far, I am a virtual honours student, and devote a lot of time to keeping it that way. She understands, and encourages it when I ring off early to devote time to my studies. There are so many factors, true. She lists those challenges in her usual methodical way.

However, as we always say, no difficulties are too great if the heart is pure, right. My dear, don't worry too much. It WILL come together. Naturally, those that read these reports will be updated as this progresses.

35 days

In 35 days everything could change. Hopefully, it will improve, become even more. In 35 days, I might be with my beau, at least for a little while. There are variables that have to be factored. Some things hang on the balance of other actions, reactions, and possibilities. Yet, I'm hopeful. I don't think there is anything on my end that is a major obstacle.

OMG 35 days! Let's see I need to:
lose 20 lbs (lol ok maybe I'm not totally kidding but mostly I am)
decide and change my mind about what to take (approx 100 times)
Breath, breath girl.. it'll be ok! ok, ok, ok,
Find out for certain what I need to have on my person for the trip

Things I don't need to do but will:
Obsess about the flight (I've never flown)
Brutally critique every minor flaw I have before finally deciding I'm a pretty good looking woman. (rinse and repeat)
Panic at least 4 times that he won't like me
Worry at least once that I'm gonna throw up
Daydream about the meet before mocking myself for being unrealistic (I don't see him falling to his knees and worshiping in the middle of the airport.. well not in real life LMAO)
2 words... Crest White-strips

Pray for me. I'm already flaking out. Sad, isn't it, consider it a sign of my attachment lol. I can't wait. Really, I can't. I can't think of a better way to spend my vacation. Even if he's working during the day, a real possibility, I just want to be there.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

In relation to below

Sometimes I wish I had my own personal transcriptionist. Not only would you get some very choice "off the wall" subject matter, dear reader. But it would make it much easier to show why I can and do respect those with varying opinions.

My suitor and I had quite a discussion about our prior bloggs regarding: church, govm't, and homosexuality. Some of you would have been enthralled, some yawning.. suffice it to say, my respect for him grows daily. We may not always agree, or we may agree but for different reasons, there are times when we don't see eye to eye... yet through it all we manage to listen, reevaluate our stand as needed, and can maintain a nice calm discussion. Respect.. It's a wonderful thing.

Hmm wonder if it will work as well in person. LOL


Favorite quote of the day.. Thanks Jen

If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work:
"Hello. Can't work today, still queer."
- Robin Tyler

It's no great secret that I've been intimate with women. Quite a few women. It's never something I actively sought. One thing just led to another between good friends. That's not to say I won't discreetly ogle a really nice bum, however. It wasn't a phase, I wasn't experimenting. It's just me.

Quite a few members of my family are homosexual or bisexual. This I didn't find out (for the most part) until recent years. Suddenly, quite a number of the things I was mystified by as a child made sense.

What brought this up you say? I'll tell you. I overheard some very ugly talk about homosexuals today. The kind that makes my blood boil! Then of course "gay marriage" came up.

Personally, I say go for it. You should have the same rights as every other committed couple out there. I hear the "sanctity of marriage" argument alot. It takes a level of calm and control that is not easily transmitted to text to restrain myself when I hear this old yarn.

How sacred is marriage to the average strait couple anyway? Have you SEEN the divorce stats? I mean really! How many people do we know that get married and live happily ever after, the first time? Or the second? Very, very few. So the "marriage is blessed by God and sacred" line just doesn't work for me.

Also, aren't we Americans (not too slight the other countries out there) supposed to uphold religious freedom? So, don't use "God's word" as an argument. We don't all believe in the same God.. In fact *gasp* some people don't believe in "God" at all.

If you really want to help "traditional marriage" here's a list of things I say need to be done:

Abolish no fault divorce
Require marriage counseling (minimum of a year)if divorce is considered
Require waiting periods and/or exorbitant fees for divorce
Require counseling BEFORE marriage
I could go on but you see where I'm going with this..

I can already see the "your going to force women to stay in abusive relationships" people trotting out the demonstration placards.. So, let me say this. Women that have men that beat them, humiliate, or emotionally carve them like a thanksgiving day turkey don't get away from those men because of divorce. They get away from those men, generally, under a few conditions.. they either get killed by them, outlive them, or they finally get the guts to sneak away with nothing but the kids, $36 dollars, and their battered pride while the hubby is passed out on the couch, or off banging his secretary.

With all of the above said and done.. I REALLY need a vacation from work. lol My poor beau says my tone has changed lately.. and I guess it has.. stress can be a killer. So, if any of you are out there slack jawed at my ranting.. I'm sorry.. I guess.

My Beau's response .. which I felt needed to be brought to light. Some dont read the comments. So w/out further ado

I've just read what my wonder woman just wrote about homosexuality. I, in general have to agree with what she was saying.

I do have comments to make, however.

Recently, here in Canada, there has been discussion about not allowing refugee claimants to use a church as refuge in case they have difficulty receiving status in this country. I believe my paramour has read ''Murder in the Cathedral'', and would know how this tradition came to be. The Church does have a long standing position in these manners, and usually are prepared to accept those who seek asylum if it's needed.

Now, what does this have to do with homosexuality?

By writ, and tradition, the Christian church has denounced homosexuality as abberant behavior. Check out the book of Leviticus, folks. ''Put to death'' is what they say. Likewise, Judaism follows the same doctrine. Ditto, Islam.

Just like I agree the Church should have a right to offer asylum to folks like the woman recently in the news up here (an honourable tradition), I do have to agree with their doctrine of condemnation. That's their right, is what I mean. Sort of an American and Canadian trait. Guaranteed under the constitutions of the US and Canada. And I believe that the church and state should be separated, because it allows good to be done without gov't interferance. Now then.....

I also personally think that things such as homosexual marriages are just fine; lord knows(no pun intended) they have perhaps a better chance of success as a 'traditional marriage'. Speaking for myself, I see no harm at all in these types of relationships. Loving relationships are seemingly more rare these days, and the good book also says we should love one another, right?

However, the one thing I AM in disagreement with is the legislation of the church. Church doctrine is a manner of tradition,slow change, and the written word, just like state legislation. Now, you'll note that Churches(a term to cover all denominations, by the way)is very slow to make changes in how it governs itself. This will come as the leaders with in a church, whatever the type, tie reality with doctrine. But that change has to come from within, not be forced by whatever gov't is in power at the time. It's an archaic system, but several thousand years can't be too bad, right? You'll note, it's still here. And it DOES provide comfort. And, hey, Christianity and Judaism is the basis of State law in North America! Curious, isn't it?

Now, while Gov't forges ahead with the legalization of Gay marriage (which has my support), the Church is in the usual position of being on the other end of the argument. They DO make a good argument, if you bother to listen. But that's a moral position, just as mine is to support it. They have a right to their moral position, just like I do.

So, if they sound like fishwives in their denouncements of this policy of the gov't, they can. Just like we support the other side of the argument.

''The sign of intellectual honesty is the SOLICITATION of opposing points of view'' Let's not get so narrow minded that we forget that they have a right to be heard.

By Student of Life, at 7:50 PM

Monday, August 02, 2004


Where has common courtesy gone? Has it fled the planet forever?

I had a call today where I work. I was the paragon of professional, friendly, and efficient service. The last question asked of me I answered and the heifer hung up on me.. loudly.

So I did what any self respecting customer service rep would do.. I thought "oh shit.. I didn't have a chance to thank her for calling ABC insurance" So I jumped online looked up the "billy bob's buy here pay here" car dealership she was calling from and called her back.

I said: Hi Raina, Its (Red Clover) from ABC insurance. It occurred to me that you hung up on me before I had a chance to Thank you for calling ABC insurance! (in that bright airline stewardess, grating on your nerves overly happy voice, dripping with sarcasm, but still SO proper)

Then I said, Have a nice day! and hung up...

I can deal with just about anything thing. But don't hang up on me when I've been nothing but nice, helpful and friendly. grrrrr

So how was your day?

OH, yeah, I forgot

Excuse me, but I forgot the reference for the operation of my father. It's sort of interesting, so here it is: http://telescan.nki.nl/bladder2.html

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Family anxiety, cookies, and outer space.

As the silent partner in this admittedly dual blogspot, I usually let my more eloquent, and lovely, partner make the commentary. All things considered, and the folks that read these posts can back me up on this, she has a Dave Berry-ish way of making the most mundane of subjects bright, cheerful, provocative and interesting. That's probably why I talk to her so much. However.......

I am currently visiting my family in Lower Po-dunk British Columbia. My father recently got out of the hospital after some surgery that left him with the equivalent of a Motorman's friend. That's how I refer to it, at least. He had his bladder removed and replaced with a specially built one that has an opening out his abdomen. The opening there has a plastic doodad that allows a bag to be attached. This is where he now urinates. Grizzly, I know, to bring up the P word in a public forum, but there you go. I spent the better part of last night absorbing my sister's and mother's description of this opening. The stoma, as it's called, fronts a small sac that is created from a portion of the bowel. Now, the opening is hard to describe. I will post a site at the end of this. Needless to say, my mother(who is seventy eight, and very proper) described the opening as ''an asshole, with the end looking like the opening of a penis.'' Of course, this will be the talk of the family for a while.

I cannot easily communicate with my paramour during my hiatus here in the backwoods, as it were. However, I did want to address a few other things. If those damned cookies are so good, then you should be able to stand behind them, and say that, despite my dried grape challenges, I could eat these things.

And speaking of outer space, those of us further north got a show worthy of the inconvenience of living in the Frozen (sic) North. Area 652, a number designated by the folks that observe sunspots, generated a flare that was rated in the M class. (for notes on what the hell I'm talking about, got to www.spaceweather.com) This created incredible auroras that were visible as far south as Northern California. We had a great show in these parts. My great and good friend here groused at the fact that she's too far south to see these things. All I can say is ''Space Shuttle launches''. My lovely has seen a number of those, and sees them as sort of banal now. Well, I guess she has something to dangle over the heads of those of us who see auroras, or the incredible comet displays of a few years ago. Best visible in the north those were.

Just one other thing. The Perseid meteor showers will be particularly good this year. These will in the last few dark hours of August 12th. For more information go to http://www.space.com/spacewatch/040723_perseid_preview.html

Now that cookies, and the universe, are in balance...............

It's Sunday

But, I thought my body was a temple?!?

Putting it all in scale

Sometimes when everything is a bit overwhelming I like to look at this picture. It puts everything in scale.

Suddenly my problems just aren't as consuming. While it doesn't mean they are inconsequential, it does help me remember that somethings just aren't worth getting worked up over.

Things that are currently worrying me:

My credit has been hijacked and I'm facing a bankruptcy to get rid of someone ELSE's debt that I can't prove isn't mine. Very long story! Two words for you Credit Protection. Call the credit agencies and have them block your account to new inquiries unless they are at YOUR request.

I'm overweight, and smoke too much.

Am I doing the right thing by my son, making the right decisions to help him grow and be secure and have the emotional fortitude needed to make it on this small bit of interstellar debris we call home.

Work, dear god, work!

My family and his family.

Can I learn to say Eh?

The list goes on and on... but look at that picture again. Go on.. I'll wait while you do. Really think about that ... that .. unimaginable vastness. Compare your worries and problems to that... See they aren't as bad as you thought. Now take a deep breath and smile.. fake it if you have too. Feel better? Ok that'll be $25, see you next week. Oh and next time try not to sweat on the couch... it grosses the next guy out.

A few notes on the picture. Yes, I know its not our galaxy. It's Andromeda. We don't have a complete picture of the Milkyway galaxy. We have conjecture. We aren't even sure if our galaxy is truly shaped that way or if we have an armed spiral. Yes I added the "You are here" in photoshop. So clearly we aren't there.. but the pic still helps. lol