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Letters to Nowhere

Friday, August 06, 2004

Cross my heart and hope to die

Sometimes I miss being a kid. Those were the days. You were gonna live forever, be friends forever, and marry a kind white knight with a million dollar bank account.

Now I find myself struggling with the normal "real life" issues of adult hood I look back fondly on some of the things of my childhood....

"I Cross My Heart And Hope to Die, Stick A Needle In My Eye"
Uttered as a sign of life long silence, one of the most binding vows of personal sacrifice you could make. This, generally, was spoken w/ accompanying hand gestures to assure you were giving it all due official pomp and ceremony before being told the secret to end all secrets. If you were asked to cross your heart, you knew .. just knew it was going to be a really good tidbit of childhood drama. The wait was almost good enough to warrant a pee-pee dance of anticipation. Subjects of suitable significance for a "Cross my heart moment" were likely to be: 1. A kiss from a crush 2. Some tidbit of sexual knowledge gleaned while eavesdropping on an older sibling 3. Any of a dozen "he said, she said, I heard from my brother's girlfriend's cousin's best friend" stories.. Ahh those were the days

The "Dare"
The dare started out tame enough. I dare ya!, could be heard all over playgrounds and kid hang outs. Ohhhh, then I double dare ya! Ouch, you could feel the winds of the world calm and waiting to hear your response.. Oh please.. please.. not the "I Double DOG dare you!" Ok now the very earth its self trembles slightly on its axis. To back down from a Double Dog Dare was reason enough to hang your head in shame.. slink off the playground.. change your name.. and move to some uninhabited piece of Brazilian rain forest. Nothing, nothing I say, struck fear in the hearts of more children then the Double Dog Dare...
Now the "Dare" is still alive and well, as seen in this riveting news story involving: 2 Men, 2 thongs, and a crowded Walmart.

"Pinky Promise"
This was the childhood version of the Notarized Letter of Intent. This was a promise best made with witnesses. It was WAYYY more official than a "regular promise" because... well, because there is nothing more sacred than giving your word while your pinky finger is curled around someone else's pinky! In the way back when a deal was sealed with a handshake, but in my childhood it was always the Pinky Promise that was KING!

"Thumb Wrestling"
Wow, what better way to decide who gets the last Oreo cookie than to challenge your contender to a heated match of thumb wrestling! It was quicker, less painful, and just as morally satisfying as a good thrashing. Your pride was just as wounded as if you'd gotten your butt stomped. This was usually a best 2 out of 3. My father and I would thumb wrestle over who got to hold the remote, where we went to eat, if I could stay up an extra half hour on a Friday night.. you know those life altering decisions. And GOD forbid you lost... We'd rub it in the others faces for hours. A victory dance was not unheard of. We would often take a pen and draw little olive wreaths on the winning digit. Did I ever tell ya I loved my father? LOL

So, when you go back to work Monday and someone asks you to do something disagreeable.. challenge them to a good thumb wrestling to see if you have to do it. Tell them you'll only accept the additional work load if they will "pinky promise that you will get that next promotion", or if all else fails you can lean over to your co-worker and Double Dog Dare them to tell the big man He's a poo-poo head, spotty bootie. Hey worse case scenario you get the day off for being overstressed... you just can't lose!


  • What wonderful memories! The one thing to watch for with swearing "Cross my heart..." and pinky promises, is to make sure the person making the promise doesn't have their fingers (toes, eyes, whatever) crossed. 'Cos as we all know, that action releases the party involved from any obligation, negates the promise and thus renders the contract null and void!

    By Blogger JustSue, at 7:42 AM  

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