I've got some explaining to do

Just out of curiosity I took a peek in my bulk mail box today. Wow.. seems I've been writing emails in my sleep! As we all know Re: means they are answering a request I sent to them.. OMG whatever shall I tell my beau...


From: Boggiest H. Armory Re: Hot Woman Eating Guys Ass

Hmmm I cant think of a Boggiest Armory I might have written to.. or why I'd be writing to them about hot woman eating guys ass. Oh boy.. what could turn me on more!?!?! I mean how can I NOT remember sending this inquiry off. Just what I've always wanted to see! Really, I've seen lots of ass kissing.. but ass eating.. now that's a change of pace! Come to think of it.. watching someone ass kissing makes me want to jab my eyes out w/ a paper clip.. so No thanks..

From: Yea Baby RE: SEXUALLY- EXPLICIT: Meet Your Date Tonight

Dear Yea Baby.. Umm NO If my date, that I meet tonight, is going to be sexually explicit.. guess what .. I'm not going to meet them! Call me crazy but my days of screwing on a first date are behind me.. for that matter did I ever screw on a first date? Umm let me think... Ok just that one time w/ Sean Connery, or was it Patrick Stewart, no no I think it was .. oh who can keep up with them all! Thanks I'll pass!

From: Lennie Larisa Janice WE SHIIP TO ALL COUNTRIES: Increace yor penis bye 2 to 4 inches in just minutes a day!

Boy! Is Les gonna be surprised when I show up with a penis? You betcha!