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Letters to Nowhere

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Ah Decisions

My cousin, and his ex (they've been together 5 plus years before they "broke up"), umm.. or something.. have invited me to go out with them tonight for an "Adult" night. I think it's part Take-pity and part the ex has never seen me in a gay bar.

Either way...

Do I wear the outfit that made my husband think "SIN SIN SIN" even after we were married and it wasn't a sin.. Or the outfit he's not seen..? Hell even better.. Do I go?

Things that make you go "Hmmmmm?"

Part of me wants to go because I LOVE gay bars.. Part of me wants to wallow in the self pity of he's-not-here! Lets-eat-a-shit-ton (a technical term see the last post)-of 'maters-and-cucumbers.

Yeah Im a freak

I've talked to both my husband and my cousin...

I've indulged my "self pity husbands not here" by gorging on Tomatoes and Cucumber slices...


Yeah well I had gastric by pass surgery 5 years ago. I still can't eat much sugar without wanting to DIE!

So when I feel the need to feed my pity.. I choose wisely..

Pity VS Death.. Pity ALWAYS wins..

So I buy wisely when I think/know I may eat for emotional reasons...

Monday, October 30, 2006


7:30 PM Eastern

At the Zoo
Originally uploaded by red clover.
He's on his way home. I've gotten back from the airport. This will be the last time (gods willing) I'll have to see him leave us.

Next time I'll be going home with him. My son will follow a few days later by air with my cousin (or that's the plan for the moment).

The bottle of Champagne my mother bought for us, that we never got around to drinking, mocks me from the fridge.

10:00 Pm Eastern
For the Photo Hounds there is a shit-ton (Now with 33% more shit than a cubic ton!) of pics on the Flickr account. They aren't in chronological order for those of you that may have seen some. I'll wait a week or so and them put them in the proper order... You'll still get the idea.

Oh and I ended up pouring out the Champagne. It was too smug and reproachful in there.... Real posts about what we did, said, where we went etc will follow in the next few days. I'm not up to it tonight.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Formal Photos


The only thing better would have been having his daughter in the picture with us.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

We did it!

We had to drive to Alabama to do it... but we are now married.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Tuesday 7:30 AM

I'm supposed to be getting married in 6 and a half hours, but...

There's been a paperwork problem. I'm just waiting for Nine AM so we can call the judge.

90 minutes. What an incredibly long time. It doesn't help we've been up since 4:30 AM. Neither of us able to sleep.

Even if we can not get our marriage license here, we have an alternative, namely Alabama. It means a 3 hour drive but we can get it done if we need to.

79 Minutes.. ugh

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Rae & Anna

Ya goobers! Of course we'd like yall to witness. I was thinking more along the lines of "middle of the day on a Tuesday" most people aren't home to watch the webcast.

sheesh :P

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Pffffft.. Tol 'ja

Before we get around to the tol'ja so..

My mother and I were talking about the wedding tonight. She'd like to have it at her house. I told her "no". My beau and I discussed it and decided not to go that route. The ONE advantage would have been the ability to webcast our wedding. However a quick appraisal of that option quickly showed only one person would see it, Moon..

While Monette is a valued friend, who we'd love to "witness" our moment.. It's not worth the risk of having that special day happen at mom's house. Moon of all people will understand. So.. In the mean time we are scrambling to find someone w/ a camcorder we can borrow. It's always something!

A post I made a long time back (November 2004) that now is so .. "Told Ya So"

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Kids keep you on your toes...

Now to put my life in perspective... Please bear in mind that two, only two, days ago I had to try to explain how different variations on animals are bred i.e. How do we get black labs, or those freaky goldfish with bubble eyes. I did pretty good. He already understood the idea of DNA from a previous aneurysm inducing question.

So tonight. On the way home from the store he poses this challenge (keep in mind he's NINE):

Mom? How does the world turn around like that while we are in the store?

What you mean like why does the planet turn, and make day and night?

No. Mom when we left the house was on this side (right hand) now we are coming back and the world has flopped! Now its on THIS side (left side)

Oh.. Oh.. That'’s just the way you see it. It'’s what you perceive. The world didn'’t move, we are looking at it from a different direction.

I don'’t understand.

When we get to the house I'’ll explain.

(insert Jeopardy theme song here)

Ok. (We are standing in the livingroom next to his homework table) Imagine this table is our house

(looking at the table with something like disdain he says in a totally deadpan voice) hmpf kinda small.


Ok. Our house. Yeah.

Ok now imagine your room is Milledgeville.. Walk towards Milledgeville. What side is the table, or our house, on?

The Right.

Ok. Now Stop and pretend the kitchen is Macon. Walk toward Macon. Ok What side is the table on?

The left. Wow.

Exactly, the table didn'’t move. The direction YOU are going in changed. That made it look diffenent. You perceive it as having changed, when really only you did.

AND.. AND THEN.. As if that wasn't enough!

A few hours later just before bed:


(sigh, I recognise the sound of that "mom?") Yes son?

Why is it ok (socially acceptable) for us to see a dog's vagina, you know while she's walking around and everything, but not a human's?

Because she's a dog. She doesn't have thumbs and so can't pull up pants. Now, go to bed. (insert the sound of utter intellectual weariness)
The Lab and the kid

The Shoe Epic and other related news

Well.. Where to start?

Let me summarize.

I need WHITE shoes. In. October.

Dante had nothing on my cousin and me. We went to at least 15 stores. It doesn't help I have large feet. But still!

We found a pair, that while not really my style, Fit and are WHITE... in the 3rd fecking Payless Shoes we visited yesterday.

Chris asked what I'd do if my beau didn't like them. I snarled back "Too fuken bad! He better pretend to like them. He better rave about them. He better swear he likes them so much his only wish was that they made them in a size HE could wear"

Needless to say after 7 hours and over a dozen shoe stores (including ALL of the stores in the mall) I was a tad touchy about the shoes.

So.. Checklist

Dress. Yes! It arrived Friday and is beautimous

Shoes. Yeah I got the damn things.

Headwear.. Yep

Just kidding. But you see how much fun Chris and I, a camera and a Macy's can have.

Here it is. I've got a small amount of veil material I'm fooling with to see if I like the option of attaching a small veil to it.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

At least Dad's calm

Prior to panic.. I ask you listen to my hick son in audio post 2 days ago.. Hick boys too cute to miss!

Then return for my panic

I talked to my father about the wedding.. He was a blase as my step-monster(uh.. mother) was 4 weeks ago.

My beau.. He's old fashioned.. I gave him the cell # to reach my father..

We'll see. Either way. Wedding in .. ACK!!!!!! 12 days! OMFG. I still need shoes.. FUCK!!! I still need to get the Goiter-damn DRESS by POST..

.. ARRGGGG... ACK!!!!

Did I mention I don't have shoes yet?!?

Arrangements and apologies

On behalf of Renee and myself, I should offer apologies for not letting those that read this regularly know that we are going to be getting married. We were trying to arrange flights for myself from the armpit of the frozen north. We also had to break the news to my family, which was a bit of a challenge, as they weren't very enthusiastic when we planned this last time. In retrospect, I sort of think that they were concerned about my ill health, as it was discovered that I had Lofgren's syndrome. You can easily find that on the internet. However, this has passed, and if we don't have raw excitement from my family, so it goes. At least they aren't rattling my chain over it. I cannot tell you how happy I am about marrying this lady. It's been a long time coming, and I'm just now getting impatient to travel down to join hands and hearts with the one that I love.

The one thing that we couldn't arrange was getting my daughter to come. She is in her last year of high school, and has dreams of being a social worker. She told me that she couldn't afford the time off from school, and I can't begrudge her that. She has her future to think of. Although, in my secret heart, I think she is saying that to ease my conscience somewhat. Flights are expensive, and between all of us, it would have been challenging (but not unattainable) to fly her down. We thought we had it figured out. Still and all, it won't be an ornate ceremony, but it will be very nice. I'll let my fiancee' describe some of the things we'll be doing in 11 days; she's more literate than me. Thanks to you all for your good wishes to this point.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

My Hick Son

powered by ODEO

Me: What are you going to do?

Son: Ok We are gonna go to Toot’s. First we’re gonna drive up to Toot’s. Then I’m gonna get some long boots. And Toot’s gonna take me where that big ‘ole lake is. Some parts are over my head, but, and there’s some snakes over there but that’s why I’ll be wearing very long boots. It takes one bite of my boots, but I’ll be wearing those long ones.

Me: And what are you going to do while you’re there?

Son: Fish, I’m gonna catch a giant catfish. They got giant catfish over there, ‘bout this big. Bout big as that trout I caught.

Oh yeah, and I'm getting married in 13 days. Yep. Me. In. White. Married.

Of course Chris, my cousin was talking about giving me away. I quipped, "I don't need to be given away. It's been given away more than fruit cake."