Why my son loves to go see his uncle, the pet store manager. 

The perils of napping.

I was tired today at work. Really tired. So I came home and laid down on the sofa after I'd changed into my please-don't-let-anyone-I-know-see-me-wearing-this house clothes and helped the kid w/ homework.

It was blissful. The cool temperature, the quiet, and the snuggly fuzziness of my sofa blanket quickly pulled me into a deep and dreamless sleep.

The only bad thing about napping is I often wake disoriented and today was no exception. I woke as it was starting to get dusk, in my confused state I looked at the clock and thought Holy shit! I'm going to be late for work!!! I enter emergency mode. Running around putting on my clothes, looking for my missing stocking, putting on deodorant and brushing my hair at the same time. As I grab my keys and run out the door the peculiar quality of the light strikes me.

You know.. this doesn't look like morning light.. this looks like.. evening light. Truth dawns on me, much like the setting of the sun. Damn it!

I'm back in my house dress. Drinking a leisurely cup of coffee and calling myself an idiot.

Beep Beep Beep.... Beep Beep Beep.. This is a test. This has only been a test. Had this been a real morning you would have made it to work on time. This concludes our test of the emergency deployment system for Red. Thank you. Beep Beep Beep.

The bad news. One stocking was much darker than the other lol.

Us 

Bite me

Giving new meaning to "Bite My Ass



Tim Thibodeaux is perched precariously atop' Big Tex' as he prepares the 52-foot-tall talking cowboy figure for the opening of the State Fair of Texas in Dallas, Monday, Sept. 20, 2004. Big Tex made his debut in 1952 and began greeting fairgoers in 1953

Cyber Cheaters

I was hanging out in chat last night out of pure boredom. There were two women giving each other hell. When a 3rd party asked what the problem was, one of the ladies said "We wouldn't have a problem if she hadn't cam fucked my man".

Maybe It's just me.. but my reaction was pretty blasé. A bit of head shaking and wanting to throw my hands in the air and I was done. But, it did get me thinking about men that cheat, and how women react to it.

My son's father cheated on me. We were young, blah blah blah.. It boils down to him being where he shouldn't have been, doing things he knew he shouldn't have been. Who was I mad at? HIM!

For all I know, the other party didn't even know I existed. I only met her "after". The person I place the responsibility on was him. He knew he was in a "committed" relationship. He knew it was wrong. He knew it would hurt me if I ever found out. And it did. I still have trust issues where men are concerned. (sadly he's not the only man that's strayed in my life).

So, enter cyber sex. A lot of men and woman get on cam and do a version of Show and Tell for sexual satisfaction. While it's not something I particularly enjoy or do, I understand alot of people engage in it and I understand why. For some it's just the thrill of showing, a feeling of power, a way of boosting self esteem (which I find ironic). For other's their (real life) spouse may be deployed or away for work, it maybe the only sexual contact they have for long periods of time.

Is cyber sex cheating? I'm torn on that question. I would be hurt and angry were I to find out my love was watching women fondle themselves while pleasuring himself, probably telling them things that I would assume I would be the only person to hear. It would be difficult to take and I would be upset. However, I don't think it would be a relationship breaker, assuming of course, he was willing to stop. In my opinion both the men and the women involved in casual (not involving 2 parties with some real life connection) cyber sex are nothing but really sophisticated masturbation tools. It's a Hustler mag that responds to input. Nothing more than a more modern version of porno. And both parties usually know that, on some level.

Don't be angry at the woman that's flashing rack and crack at your man, be angry at your man. He could have hit the little X in the upper right at anytime.

Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came

After almost 20 yrs reading I have finally finished the Dark Tower series by Stephen King. * There are NO spoilers here*

My brother and I have always been King fans. I read The Gunslinger when I was 9 and fell in love w/ Roland's world. Over 18 long, and often fruitless, years I have waited for King to finish this series of 7 books. At last it's done.

My brother started the Gunslinger and didn't like it. It wasn't until the 4th book came out, in 1997, that I was able to talk him into trying again. By the middle of the 2nd book, he was hooked. (Damn his eyes for not having to suffer the prior 10 yrs of lusting for the next book like I did) But, we have both twisted in the wind for years since waiting... waiting.. waiting.. Like crack fiends jones'n for a rock. It's been shameful I tell ya!

A few years ago King was hit by a vehicle and almost killed. My brother called me and told me the news. My first thought was "OMG if he dies I'll never find out what happens to Roland! Will he reach the tower and cry the names of his friends and loved ones?.. ARRRGGGGGG" Chris suggested, only jokingly, that if King did die he'd hold a séance to find out what happened. I thought that was a brilliant idea lol.

Thankfully King didn't die, though he did realize it was possible that he could die before finishing his life's work. He wrote the last 3 books over the course of the following two years. I was all but orgasmic when I heard the news.

And now it's finished and I've finished it. Most of my questions have been answered. Ka, is indeed, like a wheel turning relentlessly on. Commala-come-come.

Say Thankee, Sai King

Are you done yet?

Maybe I'm just a magnet to life's little oddities. I've come to the conclusion that MUST be so.

Yesterday at work I was sitting there minding my own business when a female co-worker approaches me and asks "Are you done yet?" in a low voice.

I look up at her quizzically. I couldn't think of anything in particular I was supposed to be doing. Hmm did I miss an email? Is there some obscure task I should be doing: translating ancient Sumerian, formulating a plan for world peace, maybe determining the number of paper clips needed to fashion a detailed scale model of the Leaning tower of Pisa? My befuddled look and eloquent reply of "uhh what?" had the desired effect.

She leans in and says in a conspiratorial whisper (and I quote) Are you done with your period? I think I might be late, and I know I start a day or two after you stop.

Ok stop the presses, time out! A few thoughts passed rapid fire through my mind
1. I don't know this chick that well. How the HELL does she know I'm on my cycle?
2. Who asks a coworker a question like that?
3. How do you really reply to that question?
4. Dear god, please let her start! I'm going broke chipping in for baby shower, bridal shower, and birthday presents as it is. Not another one, PLEASE!

After my look of stunned amazement faded, I leaned over and said No, You've got another 3 or 4 days, if your time table is correct.

She gave me a bright happy smile, clearly relieved by the news that I'm still bleeding like a stuck pig. She all but skipped back to her desk.

This is the FIRST time a WOMAN has ever been in a panic over MY period. And that's all I have to say about that. Period.

Idea stolen, fair and square, from Jen at Queerly Canadian

layer one:
name: Jennifer
birth date: Late Feb,1976
birthplace: Jacksonville Florida
current location: Gray/Macon, Georgia
eye color: Hazel
hair color: Unknown.. was strawberry blonde as a kid. I've dyed it red for the last 10 yrs. I'm letting it grow out and it seems to be a dark blonde light brown now. *sob weep wail*
height: 5'6
righty or lefty: Righty
zodiac sign: Pisces, so thats why I don't eat fish? hmm.

layer two:

your heritage:Nordic, German, American Indian, Irish
the shoes you wore today: Black velvet high hells (I mean heels) blue house shoes
your weakness: I don't need no steenkin weakness! The back of my neck (shhh)
your fears: Unsteady heights
your perfect pizza: Low fat cheese, onions, green peppers, bacon mmm
goal you'd like to achieve: Plastic surgery.

layer three:

your most overused phrase on yahoo: lol (no really it's lol)
your first waking thoughts: Cooooffffffeeeee
your best physical feature: My lips.
your most missed memory: At the moment, Canada.. from the distant past, pillow fights w/ my father on Sunday mornings. Nothing like waking up to a concussion.

layer four:

pepsi or coke: Coke, diet.
mcdonald's or burger king: BK for the burgers, McD's for the fries.
single or group dates: Single or group, I'll still have fun.
adidas or nike: huh?
lipton ice tea or nestea: Nestea, made the southern way. No powder, crystals or whatever other profane way there may be to make tea.
chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
cappuccino or coffee: coffee, coffee, coffee


layer five:

smoke: Yes
cuss: Not as much as I used to, but yes.
sing: With the radio? all the time.
take a shower everyday: Yes, sometimes 2
do you think you've been in love: Yes
want to go to college: I'd cheerfully maim (ok maybe not maim, but hurt) someone to be able to afford to go back to school full time.
liked high school: I was the golden child. I loved it.
want to get married: Sure, is today at 3 pm good for you? Yes, I'd like to see if I can mate in captivity someday.
believe in yourself: Most of the time.
get motion sickness: Car sick from time to time.
think you're attractive: I'm a good looking woman.
think you're a health freak: define health?
get along with your parent(s): with dad yes... with mom it depends on the phase of the moon, which way the wind is blowing, and the humidity level in china.
like thunderstorms: yes, there is something erotic about all that natural power
play an instrument: No

layer six:

in the past month...

drank alcohol: 3 beers.. 2 w/ Les, one w/ a guy in the airport.
smoked: Does right now count?
done a drug: Birth control? Sinus meds?
made out: *cheese eating grin*
gone on a date: oh yeah
gone to the mall?: Yes, looking for garters
eaten an entire box of oreos?: No
eaten sushi: No
been on stage: No
been dumped: No
gone skating: No, terrible balance
made homemade cookies: No
dyed your hair: No
stolen anything: On accident. Oh Les, I have the zippo. It was in my makeup bag.

layer seven:

ever...

played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes
if so, was it mixed company: Yes
been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes
been caught "doing something": Yes
been called a tease: Only in the best possible way
gotten beaten up: Not that I remember.
shoplifted: Yes.
changed who you were to fit in: No, I'm me the one and only

layer eight:

age you hope to be married: I'm not setting a number
numbers and names of children: 1, James. I have no plans for more, but you never know.
describe your dream wedding: Small, informal, close family/friends only.
how do you want to die: With dignity.
where you want to go to college: I have no real preference.
what do you want to be when you grow up: Grow up? I thought that was optional!
what country would you most like to visit: Egypt

layer nine:

number of drugs taken illegally: Quite a few
number of people i could trust with my life: 2 or 3
number of cds that i own: 30, maybe
number of piercings: Ears only
number of tattoos: One, a four leafed clover.
number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: 3 or 4, various school competitions.
number of scars on my body: One large one.. many small ones.
number of things in my past that i regret: Quite a few, nothing I'm ashamed of, just things I wish I'd done differently.

Useless but fun website

Do you remember the game telephone? Where a message is passed around the group in whispers and never ends up remotely the same as it started? This is the online equivalent.

What happens when an English phrase is translated (by computer) back and forth between 5 different languages? One thing I found interesting is it shows you all the translations from start to finish. So you can see where things start to break down. And rather quickly I might add.

My example:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray.

Ends up as:

They are my sun, sun of the mine only. They emit the lucky shutdowns
the other way around to me, if the skies ash-gray are leached.

The Ex and the Kids

I knew Les’ exwife from chat long before I began chatting w/ him. I’m ecstatic to say she is just as friendly, funny and personable in real life as online. I had a great time hanging out with her and the kids.

It had the potential to be a very odd situation, you have to admit. Thankfully, they have been apart a long time, get along well, and both readily admit the other person is great. They just are not the right people for each other. The situation that usually makes girlfriends cringe (meeting the ex wife) went painlessly for me.

She has 2 children, both extraordinary in their own way. Her son is a bit older than mine and incredibly knowledge hungry. I adored him. He asked great questions for a child of his age. We discussed Salvador Dali, MC Escher, perception vs. reality, optical illusions, the role of predators and prey in population control, US and Canadian government. Input, Input, Input! It was wonderful.

I found out he likes foreign currency, and I happened to have various currencies from all over the world with me in my geocaching stuff (internet scavenger hunt of sorts). I earned myself a sweet lil boy hug for the 5 or 6 coins I was able to add to his collection. (And truth to tell I enjoyed those hugs. I was missing MY little boy by then.)

Their daughter is a beautiful young woman going thru the usual things teens do. While Les was working I’d go to their house and hang out with them. One fateful evening I showed up during a boyfriend crisis to find Niki crying and upset. Mom was comforting her. As I walked in Pam said “oh look here’s another mom for you to hug” So, she was book ended by sympathetic ‘mother’ figures.

I took her out for ice-cream after we stopped in and saw Les for a few minutes. He didn’t have a clue what was going on and I didn’t have a chance to tell him. We left him thoroughly confused and headed out to DQ. While we were eating we talked about my son, her dad, etc. I made the comment that I was the oldest of 5 kids so I always knew I only wanted one or two. To which she replied “well, I can be your 2nd child”. I joked that would be perfect, no diapers to change, no bottle feeding, she’s 2/3s raised already! Yay lol.

We talked for a bit more. When she was feeling better we went back to her house. Mom, Niki and I were sitting around talking and I mentioned if she was older we’d probably have a bottle of wine, sit around talking about how he was scum, she was a goddess, how dare he not kneel at her feet etc. “Can we do that anyway” she asks. Mom and I laugh.

I could just imagine the look on Les’ face if I called to tell him he’d have to walk to where I was since his ex, his daughter, and I were busy drinking... LMAO. I told them about that mental image and we all laughed like hell. Can you say ballistic?

After I picked him up and told him what was going on, he thanked me for taking her out. Da Nada, to steal a phrase from him. I would have done it for anyone. I did tell him about the wine comment and he said “I thought that’s what Hagen Dauze was for.” Why do you think I took her to DQ? I replied, hand on his thigh as we headed home for the night.

Meet the parents

I was a bit apprehensive about meeting the assorted family while I was there. I adjust to situations well and get along with just about everyone. Usually… I say usually because there was a fair amount of animosity toward me from the matriarch of the family. (Or so I’ve heard from several sources.)

I can easily establish my own reputation and first impression. I was afraid I’d be fighting a character that I’d “earned” only by the circumstances of our relationship, one I’d never even given. Thankfully, that didn’t seem to be the case.

Les and I drove up to meet the family one afternoon around lunchtime. I met one of his sisters, his mother and father. Mom was kind, curious, and polite. So were his sister and father, for that matter. Les had told me that his family was not one to be rude to ‘strangers’, and I’m thrilled to say he was right. Mom invited us to Sunday dinner, which we accepted. After a bit more chit chat and Q&A we had to leave.

Oddly, or maybe not, the one family member that seems to resent me, came home while I was there for the visit and disappeared inside before I had a chance to meet her. C’est la vie. I can not change a person’s nature or a person’s mind. It annoys me that she makes (made) assumptions without meeting me, however.

On the way home, a.k.a. Rm 107 (sigh), we remembered that he would be working Sunday, so the family dinner didn’t seem likely. I experienced equal amounts of disappointment and relief at this news.

I did meet the rest of his family later. His brother (swhee, swhee private joke I’ll fill ya in when I continue this), brothers GF, and THE sister, those details are a few posts away however.

Mountains

After the border debacle we drove through Osoyoos. Les took me to an outlook point that provided a wonderful view down on the town. I was transfixed by the heights, the mountains, and the view. I'd never seen anything like it before. It was astounding. I have a hard time trying to express how beautiful I found that spot to be.

Les was standing behind me with his arms around me. I was standing there unable to tear my eyes away from the scenery in front to me. It was cool but not cold. People came and went as I continued to grapple my 'flat land' mindset into really accepting that I was, indeed, standing above a town.

Over the next week I saw a great deal of mountains. For the first 3 or 4 days it was overwhelming. Thinking of all that rock hovering above would give me the wollygobbers (as my son calls it). The 'falling rock' warning signs on the road didn't help inspire feels of security and wellbeing. I'd see that sign and think, Woo Hoo another Fresh Hot Death Warning, Oh goody! (Because we all know fresh hot death is way better than stale cold death lol)

I never really got over the wonderment that the mountains inspired in me. I was, eventually, able to stop gawking like a goober at every turn. I was reminded again and again by that towering landscape that my problems really weren't as great as I thought they were. My typical problem/worry/stress will improve or be resolved in 6 mos or less. Looking at the ravages of fire and Pine Beetle larvae put my concerns in prospective, it will take 100's of years to repair that damage.

Photos

For any interested you can see the pix from the trip here.

Oh, and for those of you that know us personally.. Les has a job and new residence in Kamloops. It'll be a few days, hopefully no more than a week, before he'll have internet access. (you can send me condolence flowers at 123 main st.. lol) Thanks for the support and well wishes you've all given us. It means alot, to both of us.

'You cant come home again' is true when your Canadian

On the morning of the 9th we woke up, did the mundane things like brushing our teeth (I forgot my toothbrush, told ya!) showering, and drinking the worlds worst hotel coffee.

After checking out of the hotel we took the scenic route (read that as 'got lost') on the way to the WA/Canadian border. I came to a few conclusions.

1. People in that little part of WA don't eat. We passed through little farming town after little farming town with no freaking public restaurants. Or they did have a restaurant but just looking at it made my stomach cramp, and ponder why I didn't get a hepatitis vaccine before the trip.

2. I am easily amused. Les was quietly laughing at my awe at seeing all that rolling prairie land. That was as much elevation as I'd ever seen before. A small dust devil had me gawking unashamedly. Add that to me continually mocking misspellings and ironic wording on various signs we passed.. and well you get the picture.

3. There is truth in the statement "you don't really know someone till you meet them". As long as I've known him and have talked to him about anything and everything that came up I learned more about him in that 5 hr drive then I did in months online. I spent equal amounts of time viewing the countryside and watching him. I'm sure the slightly sweaty hand print I left on his leg was not the best part of the trip for him. But, I couldn't break that physical contact. I had to prove to myself he really WAS there. And, I don't think he minded at all.

We finally entered civilization before starving to death. Our first meal together was unassuming. Mickey D's.. no fancy dinning for us lol. I had a chicken salad, he had a chicken sandwich and fries. He was aware of my eating habits, but was still a bit leery of how little I ate. After having our fill we headed to the border.

Border fun
Having called the Canadian consulate in Atlanta I had everything I needed to cross. Driver's license, birth certificate, a copy of my reservations for flying home, and a carton of cigarettes (be damned if I'm paying $8 for a pack of smokes!)

We, of course, had to go into the building since I had to see immigration. [Insert hysterical laugher here] I, as a US citizen, had a much easier time getting across into Canada than my CANADIAN co-hort. I was less than impressed with my first impression of Canadians.

The border guard was rude, arrogant, and a prick to boot.
"Who's the Canadian?" he abruptly asks as I approach the desk.
Les answered he was.
"Let me see your papers" he barks at me. Wow, so much for polite, courteous, and friendly. Service with a smile? I don't think so. I've gotten more warm and fuzzy feelings from a mammogram technician!

I hand him my papers, he reviews them very briefly. He asks a few inane questions about my citizenship, when I'm leaving, etc. I had to bite back a few caustic remarks I really, really wanted to make about his ability to read. I could already tell this wasn't going to be fun. After a few more minutes he clears me to enter.

He then asks Les to prove his citizenship in Canada. Les produces his drivers license and birth certificate.

"Not good enough" barks border guard. Huh? Not good enough? "That only proves you were born here and are a resident that is allowed to drive, not that you are a citizen" umm ok. Les has his "social security card" (I can't remember what the Canadian equivalent is called) and his national medical coverage card. "Not good enough" is the answer he receives. "you need a passport or a letter of citizenship"

He then launches into this explanation about a new card they want you to have. It's a wallet sized card that states you are a Canadian citizen AND never expires (oh goody). I can see Les getting irritated. His speech is slowing and his vocabulary is edging out of his usual $5 words into the land of $10 wording. My smart ass-ness can no longer be contained..

Me: "You say it never expires?" (That's correct) "So. What your saying then is he can come home with me, become a US citizen and come home to visit family and just flash you this 'it never expires I'm a Canadian citizen' card and slide right through the border?"

BG: "Um, yes. I didn't say it didn't have flaws but that's what we want you to have."

Me: If I move to Canada and don't become a citizen will I receive a "social security card" and national health insurance card like his?

BG: "No, only citizens get those."

Me: And his having them doesn't prove he's a citizen?!? (I was using a polite tone btw but I could see the look in Les' eyes that said 'the minute I can talk I'm gonna end up in jail'. So, I wasn't giving him the chance.)

Border Guard did have the good sense to look a bit abashed by my picking his line of crap apart. Hey, that's just another service I offer. Give me a line of bullshit and I'll have you backpedaling to justify it.

BG: "We won't deny a Canadian entry if he doesn't have the Letter of Citizenship card, if he can show 'all the crap Les already had'". (The implied, we'll just waste 20 minutes of your time needlessly, lingered in the air. It was heard by all.)

My raised eyebrow look was not lost on border guard. Les had gotten control of himself well enough to repeat back almost verbatim the things the guard had told him and we wished him good day and left.

Les was, understandably, furious. Quietly furious, but pissed none the less. He didn't rant, rave, bitch, or moan, he fumed silently.

Thus I entered Canada, land of polite hospitality!

The Trip there.

I guess I'll try to start from the beginning, when I get to the end I'll stop.

It's nice to be home, but I miss my home away from home. Room 107.. but I'll get to that later..

The trip through the Atlanta airport was not bad. Security screening didn't take as long as I expected even after being pulled for additional screening. I had time to walk to my gate instead of taking the tram. Several miles of underground walkways. It certainly helped with my nerves.

The only smoking was in a bar on my concourse. You have to buy something, of course. So, I got my usual Diet Coke. I had a nice chat with a nice man from Texas (who bought me a beer when I ran out of Coke as we chatted about our reasons for flying). I was annoyed by a know-it-all kid. You know the type, the ones that have a statistic for everything. Thankfully, Texas showed up and rescued me.

Not long after I finished my Coke and beer it was time to board. Once I'd boarded, I was looking out a window thinking "This is it. No turning back, I'm actually doing this" and there was no regret.

I landed in Vegas about 5 mins before my connecting flight so I was jogging through the terminal to make my plane. That flight was effortless and (wonder of wonders) early to arrive in Spokane.

The airport was all but deserted at 2 AM. I ducked into a restroom to give myself a moment. This is when the butterflies hit. I wasn't really nervous or anxious until I knew I was in the same building as him.

A short walk later, and I saw him leaning against a wall waiting. Instant heart in the throat moment. One long, hard hug (inhaling the scent of him) and a brief soft kiss later, it was ok. We talked about our trips, easy for both of us thankfully. He got there early, very early, got lost finding the hotel and then spent 3 hours at the airport waiting for me. So, what did my love do for 3 hours. Rode the escalators, played a video game, and played spy (until the place emptied). None of the restaurants were open. He made due.

We held hands on the hike to the car. He, of course, opened the door for me. I can't imagine him not doing that. LOL I was disillusioned by his car. I don't know why but I thought he'd have a large car, probably sedan, probably tan. The small blue compact was a surprise, but more to my taste anyway. The ride to the hotel was quick and painless, thanks to him having already scoped the place out. We checked in, went up to the room, and talked for awhile. Then time for bed.. ACK what now? lol

Slow, tender, lingering, exploratory kisses were heaven. I changed into my very large, very unsexy T-shirt and crawled into bed. There was no awkwardness when I slid over to lay my head on his shoulder, one leg thrown over his, fingers playing in his chest hair. We fit perfectly, it was like coming home.

Im home

Im back home. Much later than planned, the flights back were hellacious. I'm heartsick and exhasted. But I'm here safe and sound. Im going to try to get a few hours sleep before the kid comes home. There will be bloggs galore in the next few days. Bear with me.. thanks

I'm here and happy

Well, I am offically in Canada. Hanging out at Pam's house while my beau runs a few errands.

My flight from Atlanta was interesting. I was chosen for "additional security screening". There were to men in front of me that were Arab descent. They were both pulled for addional screening. I think I was just thrown in to prevent accusations of racial profiling. It was fun.

Les and I are getting on very well..

But anyway. I'm going to close this .. I need to call home and make sure the house is still standing. More later as time permits.

It's always darkest just before the power goes out!

The remnants of hurricane Francis came through last night and knocked central Georgia on it's butt. We had severe wind and rain. Trees are down everywhere. It was a miracle the one down in my yard didn't land on the house.

Needless to say I have no power. (I'm at my brother's house at the moment) The power went out about 1am last night. I figured I'd take my shower in the morning. Nope! Still no power. So, I was forced to go to work w/ no bath, yuck! When I called the power company they said it would be at least 24 hrs before service was restored. Later today they changed that to 1 to 6 DAYS before power is restored. WTF? Seems 2/3 of 'our' fleet of power employees were sent down to help in Florida.

Not to sound un-charitable.. but hello! I'm the one paying the bill HERE. I should have power. So it goes. No power means no water. We have a well and w/out power to work the pump we are dry as a bone. In fact, the municipal water supply is contaminated so I'm not missing out on much. The schools are all closed. There is no ice or bottled water to be found. It's a madhouse in my area.

I am still going on my trip. In fact I just printed my boarding passes and reservation confirmations. The adopted grandparents will still be keeping my son while I'm gone. They have made arrangements to get a generator if needed. God bless them!

I'm going to try to go in to work in the morning. So this will likely be my last post for some time. I'm not sure how much internet access I'll have in Canada. Fear not... I'm sure I'll bore you sufficiently with pics and stories when I get back.

Y'all have fun while I'm gone. And if anything interesting happens, for goodness sake leave me an offline lol.

Words of wisdom from mom

Take 41 to Atlanta it will save you 30 mins. (good advice thanks)

Don't forget your camera. (again good)

Keep your sarcastic sense of humor under check when going through security! (I'll be silent as the grave. I swear! If I do have to talk there will be no sarcasm, flippant remarks, or anything other than yes/no ma'am or sir)

Don't panic about flying. The time to panic is when your in the air somewhere over Nebraska and realize your luggage is still in the trunk of the car.

OMG.. something else for me to worry about. Yep that would be the time to panic. Gotta love a mom that can give a worse case scenario, and make it convincing!

We talked for awhile longer I told her I was fine. Not having last minute panic, worry or undue stress. And really I'm not. I'm saving it up for the drive to the airport. lol I figure one good hissy-fit in the car will take care of everything.

Ok, I'm off to finish packing.

Im having a baby Mozzarella is it's name

I feel like I'm in labor.. and I know who the father is. It's that greasy ass pizza I ate last night.

I'm having a gallbladder attack. It's let up some, thank the Gods!! Because of my stomach surgery my gallbladder is not as effective as it should be. So, when I forget that I don't have a normal digestive system and eat too much fat for a few days I'm in misery.

The first time this happened was last year. I thought I was dying. Today it hit again. At least I could wallow on my bed in absolute misery with the knowledge that my prayers of death would not be answered.. curses.

This really is like being in labor, harsh, intense bands of pain that make you want to gasp. However, if you are stupid enough to breath in while the pain is at it's peak you really will pray for death.

Too much stress, too little time, and too much to do has had me eating at the café at work. Where everything swims in oil and grease. I should know better. I usually do well. I've been making calls and trying to squeeze in a smoke on my lunch break. Then grabbing something quick and cheap to eat at my desk. I'm paying for it now. Shoot me .. PLEASE

Trade ya lick for lick

*get your minds out of the gutter lol. This is a family friendly post.


Most of my family is in Florida. I called around today to make sure everyone was safe. My sister is fairly close to strike zone. She's going to a friend's house for the weekend at my urging.

She talked to my son for a bit on the phone before he went back to playing. When she got me back on the phone, we talked about how fast they grow up etc.

She told me she was eating ice cream and in a moment of nostalgia I said "I'll trade you lick for lick". She about choked on the ice cream. She'd not thought of that simple sentence in years. I was the oldest of the 5 of mom's kids. When we got treats, even something as simple as fruit, it was rare we all had the same kind/flavor. So, we would 'trade lick for lick or bite for bite'. You'd get to sample the other flavor while promising they'd get to try your's.

Now in our germ-phobia world, most parents would be aghast at that practice. Back then it just kept the peace. Mom didn't care!

We talked, for awhile, about our childhood years. She asked if I remembered the time I broke up a fight between her and her brother by saying "If you don't stop fighting I'm gonna rip your arm off and beat him to death with it" We all found it so funny that they immediately made up. It was no idle threat however lol. As the oldest I was charged with keeping the peace at all times. Mom worked nights and slept during the day.. GOD FORBID you wake her up.

I guess this is why, even today, the kids come to me with their problems, wishes, thoughts, and needs. (I say kids.. they are 24, 22, 21, and 16. They will always be "The Kids" to me.) Sometimes, being the matriarch of the family is a burden. But, the rewards have been great at times. Every time one of them thanks me for this or that bit of advice I gave them 5 or 10 yrs ago that helped them... every crazy memory we have.. the fun we had.. Yes, there are rewards.

Clearance Sale!

I am the clearance queen. I almost NEVER pay full price for anything. I don't clip coupons, and I don't browse the sales papers. However, the first place I go in a store (and usually the only place) is the clearance racks. Sure, if I'm looking for something specific I'm willing to pay for it if need be... but I hate, hate, hate paying full price ... for anything.

I got off work about 3 hrs early today and saw a store I'd never browsed before. So I stopped in and looked around. I saw some really great clearance, but it wasn't anything I couldn't live with out.

My shopping criteria : Is it on clearance? Can I live without it? If I can answer those questions Yes for the first and No for the second, the item in question will probably come home w/ me. I say probably because after carrying it around for 20 mins while browsing, my normal frugal (ahem... note I did not say cheap) my normal frugal side will rear up and I'll realize I can, indeed, live without said item.

Anyway!! I saw a pair of shoes... that fit me (wonder of wonders! I have feet like Fred Flinstone) and they were the perfect pair of heels. Sexy, sky high, and actually comfortable even better on sale $10! The down side .. they were This color.
*sigh I quickly fell out of lust with them since I couldn't find a pair in black, green, white, cream or ( yes I would have settled for) red. I don't have the shoe fetish lots of women have. I own 4 pairs of shoes.. that's it.. that's all! A pair of sneakers, a pair of black flats, a pair of black heels (worn 3 times) and a pair of cream sandals.

At a different store, I was browsing the hygiene aisles, looking for god only knows what, when I came across ... Clearance condoms. Am I the only one that is afraid to buy clearance condoms? There is just something fundamentally wrong with a box of condoms on clearance! But, man were they cheap.. umm I mean inexpensive. I checked the expiration date.. well over a year away... but no.. I'm not buying clearance condoms. Just .. kinda... freaky..

So, what did I buy today after browsing 4 stores and spending 3 hours looking? I bought: 1 bag of Quaker Crisp'ums ($0.68), a travel sized shave gel (on sale $0.50), and a purse (also on sale $3.00)

Does penis size matter?

Answer the questions. If nothing else I'd love the see your responses.

Water everywhere, not a drop to drink

I came home today from work and find a kitchen swimming w/ water. My cat was looking forlornly at her food dish, giving me a look of the deepest disgust. One that said "I KNOW you dont expect me to tread water while Im trying to eat do you?" Seems one of the pipes under the sink has burst. Yippee! As if I didn't have enough to keep me busy this week.

Since my house is older than I am the kitchen sink does not have an individual turn off valve. I have to cut the water to the whole house. Complicating this is the fact that the land lord is not home. So, I just wait. With out water. You never really think about how much of your life comes out of a water pipe until you have no water. I can't make coffee, wash dishes, wash my hands, flush the toilet, take a bath, cook, hell I can't do ANYTHING! Or so it seems.

My landlord was going to remodel my kitchen while I was in Canada. Looks like they will have to get an earlier start. Sure he could just replace the pipe and faucet, but that would be like putting pin stripes on a totaled Mercedes.. and then hanging a new air freshener and saying "well that fixes that!"

I'm waiting for them to get home to figure out what, exactly, I need to do from here. Sigh... It'll be ok.. it'll be ok... it'll be ok. Thankfully, I am very close to them. I can shower, eat, drink coffee, and use the bathroom over there if need be. They are closer and more helpful to me than most of my family. I love S & H.

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For better news.. I booked the last item on my "to be booked" list today. (Yeah! One list I can throw away) My flight will leave at 10:00 pm on 09/08. I'll get to Washington at 2:20 am. I booked a room there for that night. And booked the room in Canada for the rest of my stay. How much do you want to bet that by the time this trip is done my credit card company is going to up my spending limit? lol