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Letters to Nowhere

Monday, June 21, 2004

High School Years

I was reading a friend's Blogg this morning. She talked about how much she missed her old life.. you know the high school years. I spent a few idle moments thinking about alot of the crazy, fun, irresponsible, and utterly impulsive things I did as a kid/teen. Hell, I'm surprised I didn't get myself killed. Yes, I do miss those days from time to time.

But, before you start thinking I'd ever want to go back to the "good ole days", I wouldn't. I've seen/done/learned many, many things in the years since my childhood. I'm a mom, a professional, and homemaker *shudder*. I love who/what I am now. And, you know. I really don't "feel" much different then I did at 18. Sure, there are lines on my face that weren't there then, there are some scars on my body and my heart. There are still mornings I wake up and wonder "Is this it? Is this all I have to look forward too for the rest of my life?"

The answer is NO. As, I wake my son up in the mornings and feel his sleep warmed body hug me, ahhh these are the days I will ultimately miss more than anything I ever did as a teen. When, I talk to the man I love, and we connect, share, hope, and sometimes feel wistful together .. these are the days I will miss.

Ha. You know I'm actually sharing space (even if its just cyber space) with a man again. I invited Les to jump on board here. He is now co-owner to letters to nowhere. Now, if only it was that easy to share space with him in the real world. One quick email and it was done LOL. He probably wont contribute too much in the way of written word, his life is full at the moment, school, job and me, of course.

To those of you that are his friends, and confidants.. If I've taken some/any/most of his time with you away, I'm sorry. I've gotten so used to spending time with him I can't imagine not. I'm going to my fathers this upcoming weekend. Its been far too long since we've seen him. It occurred to me it will be the first time in a long time I wont be able to talk to Les at night. Ack! Whatever will I do! However, the timing is ok. He will have company as well so we probably wouldn't have had much time anyway. Fear not, love.. I'll be thinking of you.

Ok, Im off to the shower. It's Monday morning .. ughh.. must get ready for work.


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