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Letters to Nowhere

Friday, June 11, 2004


The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation that you ever had.--Anonymous

I've been thinking alot lately about my friends. I've never been one to make friends easily. And certainly not with women. For much of my life I've had a love/hate relationship with girls/women. Thinking back to the people that I would name a true friends (excluding the last year or so) there is only one female that I've loved and called friend. Most females are too damn petty! It seems, to me, that women are judgmental, shallow and prone to fits of temper than men.

If you asked me to name my friends up to the last year it would go something like this...

James John.. my best friend for many, many years. We got in serious trouble when my dad and his mom saw us going to Gay Day at Disney world. Standing in line with two of the most flaming queens I've ever met. Yep, we were on the news! LMAO In order to get the discounted ticket price you had to wear a red shirt. There we were in RED on the news when our parents saw us. Never mind the fact he was strait as an arrow... Boy, was that hard to explain when we got home 3 days later. God I loved him! (no.. not romantically) Sadly, we lost touch when I moved to GA and he moved to south Florida.

Ken Morris.. Later to be my son's father. We lost touch for good reasons. And I'm not looking forward to seeing him ever again. But thats another story LOL I still miss the friendship.

Joe Davis, Matt Swanhart, Alan Lavalie, Mark Stillwell, Oscar Ramirez (who signed my Sr Yr Book see ya in a few days ya supa bitch) lol see I haven't changed much LMOA Robert, Gary, Les, and many many more.

There is a story to tell about all of these men and boys, the reasons they liked and loved me where never about sex, beauty, or money. They appreciated me. Just for me. They considered me one of the boys. I could be smart. Yes I LIKED MATH.. AND SCIENCE!!! And these men loved that about me as much for my sense of humor, level headedness, and willingness to strike out for the unknown .. just to see what was there.

Women.. ah women. Yes, I love them. But, from time to time I hate them too. I've had a few, very few, close lady friends. But, even then they tend to be the "fair weather" friends. Great as long as the good times are rolling. Maybe its because I was raised by a man. But, I'm not a real good "girly" girl. I don't wear makeup, couldn't care less about a shoe sale, and prefer to be comfortable rather than stylish. So fie on you women! lol.

But... thank the gods for the internet. I've met many women I consider friends here. And I would like to think they see me the same. We don't talk as much as we should I'm sure. But, I like to think they would hear the bad news and support me, just as much as the good. I love them.. for their good, bad, and ugly as much as the beauty I see in them, or the potential, the hopes I have for them.

I've lost touch with many if not most of the good friends in my life over the years. But, they are never far away either. They live and breathe in my memory


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