.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Letters to Nowhere

Sunday, June 06, 2004

Hear the silences

Ok 3 hours later... All my responsible mommy duties are done for a bit.

An aside here.. I've got some really good music for the romantic mood. Marry Me, Amanda Marshal, I want to be in love, Melissa Ethridge, gads lots of stuff. Anyway.. Oh and I'm doing my random music downloads. Smooth Jazz.. once I get it down I may have new favorites lol.

I really enjoyed reading my beau's blogg. There is yet another level of intimacy in reading and not being able to respond to each thought. To see where the thought process will lead someone when they are not having to interact with you while trying to come to a conclusion or clarify a mind set.

I love you, hun. I know you were a bit apprehensive about me reading it. I've read it many times now. And your unequivocally right. On all your salient points. You are forty (not a problem for me), working on improving yourself (God, I'm proud of you), and have issues that must be worked through. None the less. The first sentence of your third paragraph says it all. Yes, we have many trials and tribulations in our future I'm sure. But, that sentence helps remind me of why its worth trying for. And ditto, love.

Oh and on another point. I read your blogg then went back and read my own. The "I forced him" comment in my blogg struck me as ... scheming. I didn't mean for it to sound that way. Nor did it cross my mind to force you into the position. I just couldn't bring myself to cross the chasm and say the words first. Though I felt it, I knew you'd had some difficulty with a situation similar to ours in the not to distant past. I was afraid of stepping out there, of possibly finding out that there was nothing returning from the void but my own painful echo. So, if it came across as dishonest or manipulative I'm very very sorry. For what its worth, I have heard it in our silences. And if it makes you more comfortable we can return to that fashion. The reasons why we stay reticent are not bad ones, in fact they are logical, and intelligent ones.


Post a Comment

<< Home