Jealousy

I've tried all damn day not to write this letter. It's been eating me up, refusing to die a quiet death. Thankfully, I have managed to ignore it and let it run around in the back of my mind until its protests at not being written are a whimper and a few pinprick jabs of guilt instead of the dull roar it was 12 hours ago.

Ah yes, the Green eyed monster with acid tipped claws. I've felt them a few times when some innocent comment you made caught me off guard. Do I have the right to? No, I know that mentally but of course the monster is not one that can be mastered by logic.

I didn't mean to upset you with the commentary that I made last night. It was on my mind and came out before I really thought about the repercussions. Yet another minor flaw I sometimes have. However, I can tell you with total honesty... its not like that with him, it will not be like that with him, ever. Here I was worried I'd give him the wrong impression and it seems I've given it to you instead. My somewhat sordid past is just that, my past. It's not my present.. nor do I see those kinds of choices in my future.

Ok I feel better now. Maybe I can make some progress in the book I've been trying to distract myself with for the last 5 hrs. I think I've managed to read and comprehend all of 7 pages.