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Letters to Nowhere

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Signs you're too bored

You know you aren't having a great, exciting day at work when you start looking forward to your gynecologist appointment. Several of my co-workers were looking at me enviously as I got up to leave early today.

"Where are you going?" They asked.

The Gyno. I replied.

"Oh.. Well, does he warm the duck bill thingie?"

Yeah he does, I answered.

"Then it would be worth leaving for, today at least", was the consensus.

I all but neener-neener'd as I walked out.

While there Dr. Slappey (yes that's his real name) asked when the last time we'd done a Chlamydia culture. I told him it'd been a few years. I, as a matter of course, am routinely screened for STDs. I think it's always a better idea to know.. than to wonder.

He recommended we do another one. Georgia, it seems, is 3rd in the nation for Chlamydia infections in adults. Oh goody! He joked that Georgia never comes in the top five for anything good. We finally break the top five and aren't even good enough for Chlamydia to make number one!

I love my gyno. He's got a great sense of humor, won't blow smoke up your ass (aka no candy coating), and actually takes the time to answer any questions, and try to help with any problems you may have.

If you're in the Macon Georgia area and need a gynecologist I highly recommend Dr. Slappey in the Coliseum Physician Center. I'm going to regret leaving him behind when I move to the great white north. Hell, I'll miss him more than some of my family.

Ok ladies... Q&A time.

Am I the only one that immediately prior to my gyno appointment goes into the bathroom and does the quick PTA* bath? Of course it helps that the bathroom there is a single occupancy. So I can stand at the sink and swab everything down without drawing too many stares.

*PTA - pits, tits, and ass


  • I have ALWAYS done that..if leaving from work to go to the appointment..now that I work at home, I can arrange to be just freshly out of the shower before my ass sits on the paper sheet lol

    I love that your doc's name is Mr. Slappy lmao, sounds like a character u would see on montey python ..

    By Blogger moon, at 8:19 AM  

  • I try to schedule mine in the morning so that I just happen to be freshly showered... but if it HAS to be in the afternoon then yeah I do a quick lil wipe down there :D

    love the paper sheet... everytime I get up off that thing to get dressed it always looks like I pissed on it... I wish he'd dry that duck billed thing off a bit first...well maybe not too dry... enh forget it...

    By Blogger Rae, at 11:43 AM  

  • Not only do I make sure I am clean right before I go in (either by means of just coming out of the shower or ducking into the restroom to *ahem* take care of things) I also make sure my legs are clean shaven.

    Yeah like I'm gonna be getting laid with my knees up behind my ears, while I "relax and scoot down".

    Then to get up off the paper thingie to have it wedged between your ass cheeks......yanno like when that errant strand of tp sticks to your shoe.

    Sometimes it really sucks being a girl.

    By Blogger Shannon, at 9:18 PM  

  • That is so me!!!

    By Blogger Moey, at 10:12 AM  

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