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Letters to Nowhere

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Weird Thought #52

How do blind people know when to stop wiping after using the bathroom?

This question should not surprise you, especially if you've ever read the previous two (#34 and #47)

But seriously.. as I was using the restroom this thought occurred to me. I always at least glance at the paper. What if I couldn't? Would I be using 1/2 a roll each time, paranoid that I might be.. uh.. dirty. Or (gods forbid) would you have to feel around to be sure?

Yeah yeah yeah, I know. You're holding back a retch and backing away from the monitor. Sorry. Sorta. This, my friends, is the kind of things that can keep me up at night as I ponder the question from every angle.


  • I ponder these things too. There must be a system or something. I always wondered how would they know if they had a pimple or maybe boogs. You just need to see these things.

    By Blogger Anduin, at 1:40 PM  

  • well you could take it a step further... how does a blind woman know when its time to change her pad or tampon or how heavy her flow is at that time... what kind of tampon or pad she should use.. one for heavy days or light days...

    ok now y'all are retching...

    but Red it's your fault you opened the door...

    By Blogger Rae, at 3:18 PM  

  • I never look at the paper when I wipe, and I can see just fine.

    I can tell by feel (through the paper, I don't actually touch it, that'd be gross), whether I need to wipe more or not. I'm amazed that others have to look.

    By Blogger monogodo, at 12:33 PM  

  • I cannot believe you are getting it all if you don't look, and how can you really be sure if you haven't ever tested your theory?

    I was really hoping someone could answer that. Red Clover, you simply MUST get your Google on and report back to us!

    By Blogger Justice, at 8:13 PM  

  • Enhanced Senses, as in Super Sense of Smell.

    Thats my theory.

    As for Rae's tampon question, I would guess to say, that squishy feeling ya get when ya just cant get to the bathroom.

    By Blogger Amanda, at 8:58 PM  

  • There's a different feel to an anus with fecal matter on it than one w/o.

    If I'm ever unsure, I use one of the Preparation H Wipes my wife picked up. They work great.

    By Blogger monogodo, at 9:45 AM  

  • I bet you always check the kleenex after you blow your nose, too.

    (I'm guilty of both. I'd make a lousy blind man. But here's a related question: why do the drive up ATM's have braille instructions? And how can they tell if they were just given two fives or two twenties?)

    By Blogger Silly Old Bear, at 2:04 PM  

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