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Letters to Nowhere

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Work, work work

As many of you know I am in insurance agent at one of the top 5 companies in the states. I received a call from an irate older man today. Oh goody. I never did find out why he was so angry. He was screaming so loudly I could barely understand him from the distortion on the phone.

Me: Sir, I'm sorry you are talking too loudly. Your phone is distorting your voice. I can't understand what you are asking of me.

Him: (screaming down the moon) I want to talk to Mr Joe Blow! Right NOW!!

Me: Do you know what department he's in?

Him: (positively foaming at the mouth) He's your damn Vice President and I want him on the phone NOW!

Me: Sir, I think you are mistaken our Vice President is xxxxxxxx.

Him: If I don't talk to him right now I'm going to garbled garbled garbled sue garbled job garbled.

Me: Sir you are getting louder again I don't understand you.

Him: (he spells the name) Get him on the phone.

Me: The only person by that name I see works in our home office marketing department. If you would like I can transfer you there.

Him: No I will not be transferred!!! Get him on the phone.

Me: Sir, I'm unable to do that. I don't have access to the direct numbers in that office. I am able to get someone on the line from that department, but I'll need to place you on hold to do so.

Him: I will NOT be put on hold. Period. YOU WILL GET HIM. (I really am expecting him to drop dead of a stroke at any moment. I can positively HEAR his veins popping)

Me: Sir I'm not even in the same STATE as he is.

Him: silence.. silence.. (I'm just listening) silence.. WELL?!

Me: Well.. Fortunately I've just come back from lunch... Since I, personally, can't help you, and you do not want to be placed on hold or transferred... .. What would you like to talk about for the next three and a half hours. I get off at 4:30, you see.

Him: (a grudging laugh) ok Transfer me.

Me: Thank you. I'll be back with you in just a moment once I get someone for you.

I transferred him to someone in our corporate complaint office after introducing them. He was much much calmer by then.

My supervisor would have swallowed his tongue if he'd heard that conversation. LOL. It's almost a pity he didn't.


  • I wish I'd thought of this when I was in customer service. I would've had to use it.
    Great way to calm an irate customer by the way. If I'd been your supervisor, I would have said great job.


    By Blogger Brian, at 5:55 PM  

  • Now I am really curious why he was spitting nails lol... I bet , while in the toilet, he must have got his watchamacallit caught in his zipperstapizoid after reading the love letter he found to his wife from her lover ..namely the man he was looking for at your office...and in effect ,decided to torch the letter, in lighting the match, he blew his butt to smithereens...so not only did he want to kick the guys ass for doing his wife, he also needed an insurance adjustment for a new bathroom and buttocks..so the moral of the story is..ALWAYs try to kill 2 butts with one match.

    By Blogger moon, at 7:06 PM  

  • sounds like a few conversations I had while in the billing department...

    *sits back and thinks*

    God I'm so glad I'm on a medical leave...

    By Blogger Rae, at 8:28 AM  

  • Should have expected, all work places have these kind of 'minute' crackers... ;-)

    By Blogger creative witch, at 12:27 PM  

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