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Letters to Nowhere

Sunday, July 03, 2005

No John Deere Here

Awhile back I was talking with a gay friend of mine about anal beads.

These are a string of beads that you insert.. well anally. At some point in the "moment" they are pulled out giving a very ..uh.. interesting feel that can heighten orgasm.

Me: So you just pull 'em out?
Him: Yeah, you pull them out. Some people like to remove them during orgasm, some just before. It's a personal preference.
Me: Ok.. but you just pull them out?
Him: Well, honey! You just can't act like your cranking a lawn mower!! You pull them out slowly.

Ok.. that's were I lost it. I was gasping for air; I was laughing so hard.

Me: After all nothing runs like a john queer.

We both lost it then... we laughed till tears came.

So.. if that's something you're thinking about trying.. just remember it ain't like you're starting a lawn mower.


  • everywhere i look around here i see SOMEthing made by john deere, now everytime i see those something i'm gonna be bustin a gut and people are gonna be wonderin whats up with her,,,roflmao , i needed that giggle today!!!

    Reesie XOX

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:42 PM  

  • Haha, so you don't crank them?

    By Blogger Lauren, at 10:15 PM  

  • hahahaha, I saw these at a FUN party one time--oh lord all the ladies couldn't quit laughing enough to take the saleslady seriously!

    By Blogger fairygirl701, at 11:07 PM  

  • OMG, this was so hilarious! I will never look at my lawnmower the same again! LOL!

    By Blogger Nickle Annie, at 11:25 PM  

  • That completely made my day. I needed a good laugh. Thanks for sharing. Oh and it's also a very good tip!! hehe

    By Blogger Boarder Girl, at 11:01 AM  

  • First time on your blog....
    Nice blog!!

    By Blogger Gangadhar, at 11:55 AM  

  • No wonder it takes me ten minutes to start my mower...

    (but once it's going? It purrs)

    By Blogger Silly Old Bear, at 10:07 PM  

  • It's FINE to yank anal beads out of someones netherquarters as long as you brace yourself on their thigh with one firm foot and press the primer button a few times.... and you MIGHT wanna put on your safety goggles first. *shudder*
    Sketchy Mess Jeoffory

    By Blogger Requiem4aDream, at 1:50 PM  

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