Finishing sentences...

1. My uncle once carried me home after I busted my eye open on the swings. Dad near to had a heart attack at seeing me limp and bloody in his arms.
2. Never in my life will I understand "new and improved". It's either new.. or it's old and improved!
3. When I was five I almost got my father in serious trouble when I told the sitter we took a bubble bath together. I neglected to mention we wore bathing suits and were in the kiddie pool in the yard.
4. High School was a blast. Good friends, good times, and omg the stories... the stories.
5. I will never forget the awe inspiring feeling of giving birth, and the first sight of my son.
6. I once met Warren Buffet. A very nice man.
7. There’s this woman I know who is so incredibly dumb she honestly believed me when I, mockingly, told her black men had black semen.
8. Once, at a bar .. yep that's about right ONCE at a bar. I'm not a bar kinda person.
9. By noon I’m usually praying for the day to be over.
10. Last night I was asleep by 3:00 am. Woo hoo.. early for a Friday.
11. If I only had a million dollars I could finally find out if Chris "I'd eat a used tampon for a million bucks" boast was true.
12. Next time I go to church someone will either be getting married or dying.
13. Terry Schiavo who? She wasn't my concern. Though if I was in her place I say pull the PLUG already. I don't want to live like that.
14. What worries me most is what the hell the kids are up too.. They are way too quiet. Be back in a minute. :)
15. When I turn my head left, I see Anubis, Bastet, Tut, and Nefertiti
16. When I turn my head right, I see the hall way, and in my peripheral vision the tank of our two lizards.
17. By this time next year I hope to be living in Canada.
18. A better name for me would be overbearing bitch, if you ask my son's father.
19. I have a hard time understanding why we coddle our criminals. They weren't concerned about the civil rights of the people that robbed, killed, raped or tormented.
20. If I ever go back to school I’ll be in heaven. I enjoyed school. Alot.
21. Take my advice if you ever wake up with a cat on your chest that sounds like a Slurpie machine on the clean cycle.. throw them off you.. RIGHT THEN. Shampooing cat puke out of your hair at 3 am.. Not fun.
22. My ideal breakfast is the one I get to eat with the man I miss so much.
23. A song I love, but do not have is Fur Elise.
24. If you visit my hometown, I suggest the river walk at dusk, walking the beaches at midnight, and eating at the European Café in historic 5 points.
25. Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars are all things you don't give a damn about while you're washing cat puke out of the sheets.
26. Why won’t people take responsibility for their actions.
27. If you spend the night at my house we'll probably be up till 2 am laughing, talking, and goofing off.
28. I’d stop my wedding for nothing that didn't involve risk of life or limb. Fire in the building we're in, Yes. A run in the stockings No.
29. The world could do without yet another feking Wal-Mart.
30. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than trample another fire ant bed unknowingly
31. Paper clips are more useful than a jock strap at holding 4 pieces of paper neatly together. And a lot less likely to get you fired.
32. If I do anything well, it's pick apart a line of bullshit.
33. And by the way two eight year old boys can reach a sound level similar to that of a leer jet taking off in your living room.