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Letters to Nowhere

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

The bitter taste of disappointment

I have spent the last 3 weeks in a state of heightened anticipation. I’ve been waiting for The Dress. Yes, ladies and gents, it has attained proper noun status.

The Dress is a thing of satin, ribbons and in an 18th century style. It is/was my one nod to personal indulgence.

It arrived yesterday. I was ecstatic. I don’t think I’d have been happier if the USDA had decreed that 3 servings of cheesecake a week would make you LOSE weight.

This level of unbridled joy continued while I opened the box. It continued until I pulled the bodice out of the box. It looked... small... not just ‘oops I bought a size too small’ small but oddly small... the way a grown man would look if you removed his shin bones and saw him standing with his feet attached at the knees.

The underarm seam (from armpit to waistband) was only 6, count ‘em, 6 inches. Ok. Homework assignment!

1. Hold out your arm horizontally
2. Measure the distance from your arm pit to your waist. You can do this with a tape measure or by guess and gosh.

So tell me, is it even remotely close to 6 inches?

If it is, you are either a child, or a strangely mutated freak of a human missing numerous ribs, for reasons I don’t even want to consider!

Ok as if that wasn’t bad enough... The skirt while in one piece was not hemmed. I can live with that. BUT... BUT the waist was not acceptable. There was no finishing done on it. It was just the ragged ends of the fabric sewed into a circle. No elastic, drawstring, opening for a zipper, hooks and eyes or anything. So unless your hips are the same size as your waist you can’t get the thing on!

So, I fired of a well worded, clearly articulate email advising them of the problems and that I will cheerfully send them back the garment for a refund. A full refund.

1 Comments:

  • Ahh damn hun, I am so sorry u got a dud, I know how much u were looking forward to this dress and how long u have wanted it. I hope to god they get their shit together and send u a full refund or atleast THE DRESS u actually ordered.......hope u also sent a complaint to ebay for this shoddy treatment. HUGSSSSSS BUDDY

    By Blogger Moon, at 10:53 PM  

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