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Letters to Nowhere

Friday, November 12, 2004

El Cheapo

Those words are a sign of dark days in my house. My cousin, Chris, and I have always been close. If he’s going to the store I can ask him to pick something up for me etc.

An example of el cheapo in its natural environment:
Hey, while you’re out will you get me some el cheapo toilet paper?

El cheapo is reserved, almost exclusively, for items that are necessities. You never get el cheapo cookies, cakes, or candy. El cheapo pizza? Unheard of! There is el cheapo soap, toilet paper, laundry detergent, and deodorant. See the difference?

Of course you are risking a lot when you go the el cheapo route... The toilet paper has a higher volume of wood pulp than some Ikea furniture. I swear, I once saw a beaver and a bunch of termites fighting over my last roll of el cheapo toilet paper.

Keeping all of the above in mind, Chris and I were almost overcome with laughter while driving on I-16 between Savannah and Macon. There, larger than life, was a bill board for EL CHEAPO FUEL STOP.

Which leads us to wonder, what kind of advertising can “El Cheapo Fuel Stop” have? You KNOW they can’t say a word about quality, or customer service... Even worse, what kind of goober goes to work for El Cheapo? I hope they aren’t expecting cutting edge medical benefits, 401K or dental coverage lmao.

It’s been two weeks since we passed El Cheapo Fuel Stop. A few days ago, I called Chris to ask him about flea and tick control for my cat. I said, “Please tell me it’s not expensive, cuz I’m using el cheapo shampoo and laundry detergent.”

That caused a new round of mirth and a joking offer of a part time job from him.


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