Skating is healthy?

I took my son to a birthday party yesterday. It was at a skating rink. Before we left the house I called to make sure the heath insurance was paid up to date. James had never skated before, and I haven't in almost 15 years.

Even as a kid I could never roller skate well. I have a middle ear birth defect that causes my sense of balance to be a bit off. However, James was foaming at the mouth to go. I figured it would be good for him since the last month has been not been a time of fun or cheer.

So, off we go. I defy death to cross 3 lanes of traffic to a turn lane after I missed the damn rink on the first pass. Doing a U-turn was fun. Oh boy, we are off to a great start already!

Ok, we find the rink, park, go inside, hunt down the birthday boy in the crowd of screaming prepubescent kids, apologize to the mom for not RSVP'ing since I was out of town when James was invited, then make our way to the counter of broken bones.. uh I mean the skate check out counter. Yeah, that's it. Uh huh.

I hand over my son's size 4 sneakers and get a size 4 pair of 'hi, Dr. Jackson, I figured you hadn't stitched him up, or put a cast on him in over 4 months and I was thinking I really needed to give you another co-pay this year' skates in return.

As I laced my son into his very first pair of roller skates, the smell and sounds of the rink took me back to my younger days. Days of bruises, fun, and greasy food goodness. They say the Gods watch out for drunks and children so I said a quick generic prayer as I helped him stand up on the skates for the first time.

For the next 1/2 hour my right arm was repeatedly given the snatch and jerk treatment. You know a 73 lb kid can damn near pull off your arm if you're not paying attention. He finally got used to them and could skate about 6 feet without falling when he started badgering me to get skates.

Ok, Ok, Ok... I got my skates and started mumbling inarticulate pleas of mercy to any and all deities that may have been watching. I'm proud to say I only fell on my ass once (on my own anyway). After I got steady enough to leave the 'kiddy rink' (oh the shame) James and I headed out to the real rink. There he fell and then pulled me down at least 3 more times.

We had a great time. We didn't have to go see Dr. Jackson. But, I think I broke my ass in 6 places. And, my right arm is seriously strained. I can't raise it above shoulder level. James had fun, I had fun. We're going to go back each time he progresses through a reading level in his class. Yes, it's bribery.. but fun bribery.