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Letters to Nowhere

Saturday, June 26, 2004

Meeting the Daughter

I dislike discussing things that impact other people's lives publicly.. but in this respect it overlaps my own. So I'm going to very carefully avoid names in this post. I hope you don't get confused with all the pronouns. I'm sure none of what is hear will be news to any of you that know the two of us well. But, I'm always as careful as I can be not to betray confidences. That's one reason I almost never use names in my bloggs. And re-reading the following I don't believe I did. So onward!

I was able to meet my beau's 15 yr old daughter today (virtually meet anyway). She is a very pretty young woman. She favors her mother greatly. She seemed, in the short time I spoke with her, very self assured and intelligent. Just what I'd expect from a child of that union.

When I mentioned that she looked like her mom, she asked me if I knew her mother. I explained that yes, I knew her from chat when she and I used to be on very frequently. And that in fact, it was her mom that vouched for her dad when he and I first started chatting. That he was a good guy. That he was was not going to be some "show me the tits" creep, and was relatively safe to chat with. I didn't use these words in italics w/ the daughter but you ladies know what I mean, we've all vouched for someone once or twice when a reg was asking for references.. She mulled that over for a few minutes and said "That's just weird." I can understand her view of that.

However, I didn't start talking with this man with any notion we'd end up with the emotional attachment we now have. We connected well. I've chatted intermittently with him for over a year. Just recently has it become serious. In the beginning, we talked alot about books, art, sciences.. very academic things. He was involved with someone, that I also knew from online and we (she and I, and he and I) occasionally talked about him/her/them. Though nothing graphic or too personal was said by either party. (For which I am now grateful) I was somewhat in the middle of things when the relationship went south. I commiserated with both. Gave advise to both. Considered both good friends. And I wished the best for both. (And NO I didn't have any feelings for him at the time other than that of a friend, a platonic friend at that)

After they split I lost touch with him for quite some time. She and I continued to pm.. we'd talk about what went wrong, why it didn't work, had I heard from him etc. I missed the intellectual outlet he provided me. So, she and I talked about him from time to time. (Yes, he knows this btw. I've often wondered if he's ever disconcerted that I had that kind of relationship w/ her. And I hope she doesn't feel betrayed by me, or that I was using her) So, indirectly, I was learning alot about him though I never thought it would "matter" to me on a personal level.

Wow, I've strayed from the "I met his daughter" topic this was supposed to be. (Bad brain.. Bad brain.. NO SOUP FOR YOU!) No surprise to you, faithful reader, I'm sure. LOL Anyway, Her mother seems to have done a wonderful job with her, not to down play "dad's" role either. She seems to have a pretty good grip on life (considering she's 15). We talked about my son, her little brother, her bf, her dad and mom, a little of everything in a fairly short period of time. All things considered.. Two thumbs up dad and mom, you should be proud! But, I know you already are.


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