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Letters to Nowhere

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Dark Thoughts

I'm having a confused emotion kinda day. For many reasons. I went into work today determined to have a good day. Strangely, the desk of my nemesis was empty. Not packed up empty, they just were not there. Now this person has gone out of their way to make my work hours miserable for the last few days. So I was somewhat pleased that they were not there.

Until.. I heard the news. They were in a fairly serious auto accident last night. We are unsure when they will be able to return.

Now, please gentle reader, know this: I am not a vindictive person, or do I hold grudges. However, within the best person there is a deep, dark, dank and secret place. Where things lurk, creep and slither... mercifully unseen. Where our childhood horrors are not only alive, but indeed flourishing, feeding on the hate, bitterness, and envy we feel from time to time. From this muck and mire within myself I heard faint cheering and the occasional "got what they deserved", and high fives. This I found to be a bit alarming. My overriding conscious mind was horrified and inquired about the health and condition of this person. I wish them no ill. In fact, all things considered I can't think of anyone that I would wish this kind of thing on. I hope they are going to be ok. I hope the passengers are ok. However, even as I type these words some monstrous part of my psyche is grinning, exposing teeth like jagged broken razor blades, giving lie to my sympathies.

1 Comments:

  • You nailed it right on the head...everyone even the nicest of people have that dark scary place...some ignore it...some acknowledge it...and unfortunately some survive solely on that...

    I believe as long as you acknowledge it and try not to let that part of you consume you...everything will stay in balance and you will be alright...
    (not nescessarily you but the general "you" meaning everyone)
    I do feel sorry about your co-worker...

    By Blogger Rae, at 2:31 AM  

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