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Letters to Nowhere

Friday, August 18, 2006


Hiss or Yawn?
Originally uploaded by red clover.
Someone I know took the time to explain to my son that he is a "bastard" .

He asked me about it tonight.

"Mom, am I a, you know that bast.. , word?"



Well, that word is a bit ... well.. the word is a bit ... wrong now. Usually now it just means a mean, or bad person, it's used the same way idiot is (Idiot is a word my son knows I frown on)

"But am I a bast.. You know that word"

Technically yes. A long time ago that word had more meaning. There was a time that divorce was illegal; if a man or woman married a bad person, someone that beat them up, or did other ugly things, there was nothing they could do. You were married forever, until you died.

Back then it was a big deal if you were born when your mom and dad weren't married. Do you remember the movie "The Seven samurai"? Do you remember me explaining why that girl's father wanted to kill her after she'd been alone with a man?


It was almost that serious a long time ago if you where born and your mom and dad weren't married. Now it's pretty common for a lot of reasons. Does it make you bad, or not as important, or any different than anyone else? No, son it doesn't.

A word is just a name. James, Mom, Dad, God, or Devil. They are all just words. Words that people assume mean something.. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't.

This time... It doesn't mean anything.

I WILL be having words with the ADULT that chose to tell my son this bullshit.


  • I hope that this conversation will involve the introduction of your fist and the side of their head.

    By Blogger Amanda, at 1:28 AM  

  • Ha.. ha.. and (no humor involved) I've talked to Les.. and Niki.. his daughter who is visiting..

    They've mananged to talk me down from the homicide I'd planned..

    Though it did raise questions that Les-N-I'll have to discuss later.

    I won't need bail money tonight.. and It was somewhat iffy before I'd talked to Les..

    By Blogger Red Clover, at 2:02 AM  

  • What feking ass potato stuck it's nose where it didn't belong? Gawdddd...some ppl are so damn stupid they need a lobotomy on their ass cause we all know there head is up there ffs!!

    By Blogger moon, at 2:08 AM  

  • Yeah, this is a question best left to Mom. And...I didn't think I tried that hard to talk Red Clover down from the avenging-god level she was at. I was just thinking about a conversation I had with my best friend in Vancouver yesterday. It had to do with using words to denegate or empower. He was discussing the Gay Pride Parade that took place in that city, and it's excellent turnout. We got to discussing how 'queer' used to be a derogatory word, but that the gay community took it as their own, empowering them. 'Bastard' is accurate as it stands, but it depends on who explains the meaning. Bear in mind, words have no power unless we let them. A good lesson Red is teaching to her son.
    For the record, I still say that using the word 'Wench' is still alright...those few who read here will know what I mean.

    By Blogger Student of Life, at 4:18 AM  

  • Sounds to me from what you have said, that the person who told James this, did so in order to hurt his feelings - and as a result hurt yours too.

    As Les said, words only have power over us if we give them that power.

    Years ago co-habiting with a partner without the "Sanctity of marriage" was considered living in sin. Nowadays no-one batts an eyelash. And I am sure everyone has come across or heard the hateful comments that used to be reserved for children from "mixed marriages".

    For the record, I am a bast...child born out of wedlock, and I think I turned out ok! ;-)

    By Blogger JustSue, at 8:55 AM  

  • both of my children are bastards, my man is a bastard and my ex man is a bastard...

    I got two words...

    Who Fuckin Cares?!

    I mean seriously it's not a big deal anymore. I can't believe an adult would stoop so low... that's just shameful.
    I'd probably still cause bodily harm to them because of the fact that they wanted to hurt an innocent child.

    BAH! and people wonder why I hate people... lol


    By Blogger Rae, at 6:42 PM  

  • Just an additional comment. My sister had her first child in 1970. She was not yet married, and when she went to the hospital in Vancouver, she was placed on a separate ward for unwed mothers. The nurses tried to browbeat her into giving up my niece for adoption. Fortunately, her strength of mind and purpose helped her to make the decision to keep the baby. Nowadays, there is no stigma attached to being a so-called "single mom".

    By Blogger Student of Life, at 8:22 AM  

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