Common Sense Isn't that common

I work in at an insurance company. My company, like several others, has a website where "your" bank can check to make sure you have car insurance. It's the damnedest thing, but.. You know, if you total your car.. They still want their money.

I have been working the Technical Support email box this week. Oooohhh Let me tell you. If it wasn't for the fact my boss is a good friend, and a Christian and blushes if he hears the word "Damn"! Well lets just say I don't have Tourette's Syndrome... Yet.

One woman sent me six.. count 'em SIX emails in less than 3 minutes. And they were soooo feking helpful. Consisted of things like:

From: blahblah
To: Insurance Help

(no subject)
I cant log on help me

THE FRIKEN END.. No name, no I-work-for-so-and-so-bank, no my User Name is, Nothing!

The next one same thing: I've tried everything. (That was the whole email)

It's not even the I-have-no-email-etiquette that was driving me INSANE. But the fact there were SIX in 3 minutes. (insert the sound of teeth grinding)

My boss, the friend, and very devout Christian came by. I guess he saw the steam rising. He asked me what was going on. Without stopping to think I snapped out:

This heifer has sent me 6 useless emails back to back. It took JESUS three DAYS to come back from the dead and she can't give me FIVE MINUTES to type a response.

I thought about it the instant it was out of my mouth. He looked like he was going to pass out. He was really just fighting (and losing) not to laugh hysterically.