Read tubes carefully.

If for example, and this is totally hypothetical you understand, ehem.. If you grab a tube of Artic-Heat (aka ICY HOT) mistaking it for a tube of Anti-Itch cream and proceed to liberally slather it all over your winter-dry and itchy inner knee area as I did some hypothetical person did, you will, uh hypothetically speaking, be doing the River Dance all the way to the shower. While yodeling obscenities. The ad-lib arm flailing only adds to the drama.

Oh and the shower.. bad bad idea. The water only makes it worse.

Thank the gods it wasn’t a yeast infection itch.