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Letters to Nowhere

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Dead Guy Calling

Today was one of those days at work. I was on the "weird call" line, I guess.

By far the strangest call was from the dead guy.

Mr Dead Guy (not his real name) comes on the line saying he needs proof of insurance faxed to his DMV so he can renew his license.

Uh.. Sir, can you verify your Social Security number, date of birth, mailing address and the password on your account?
He could and did with no hesitation.

Ok Sir, are you still married to Mrs. Live Chick (not her real name either)? Oh, you are. I see. Well, I'm sorry to inform you, but she called in a few months ago and advised us that you had.. well.. that you were deceased.
WHAT? Muffled cursing as to be expected.. He comes back and informs me the last time he checked he was still well above ground.

Not the last time you checked? Well, I can understand how this might upset you, sir. Let me get customer service on the line and I'm sure they will be able to resolve this matter. May I place you on hold for a moment?

When I got service on the line things started to clear up. Mr Dead Guy (still not his real name) has a really shitty driving history. The wife had called to try to delete him and we advised her that since they were married we would be unable to do so, unless she could prove he had other insurance. Two months later she calls and says he's died. Poor, poor, you.. of course we'll remove him (and his tickets and accidents) from your policy.. after all he's dead.

Service spoke to Mr Dead Guy (you know the drill) at length. Then they mailed a letter to Mrs Live Chick advising her if she couldn't produce a death certificate with in 14 days that we'd be canceling her insurance policy.


  • Hmmm ... ya' would have thought they would have at least TALKED about him dying before trying to kill his record ...


    By Blogger Garrison Steelle, at 1:28 PM  

  • ha! Have a good weekend

    By Anonymous mellowyellow, at 6:25 AM  

  • Did you happen to warn that guy is has only 14 days to live?....gives new meaning to the term, Dead Man Walking.........hehe

    By Blogger moon, at 11:34 AM  

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