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Letters to Nowhere

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

inquisistion, coffee, and dancers

Talking with some of the ladies at work today it struck me how different woman can see things.

One woman was talking about her husband and how he’d tripped himself up when he mentioned there was a stripper at a near by club with the same name as their daughter.

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition. And neither did this poor guy. His wife proceeded to grill him with such fervent brutality that it escalated into a serious problem between the two of them. Part of what she was upset about was the fact he didn’t tell her he went. Most of the problem, as she admitted, was the fact he enjoyed seeing other women naked. (WELL DUH!)

He only went once (according to him) and considering how tight his wife keeps the thumb screws I’m sure that’s right. The poor guy is doing good to have 30 mins to himself at any given time.

I thought this was pretty interesting timing… the subject of erotic dancers. My beau recently when to have his car serviced. While he was waiting he asked the guys where he could get a cup of coffee. They directed him to the titty bar down the street. And, helpfully, told him he’d pay as much for coffee as beer. LOL

So, he went to the bar, got 2 cups of coffee watched a woman do a very acrobatic dance and ended up tipping her $5 which she took from his teeth.. With her breasts. I personally would have loved to have seen it. Not because it would have been erotic, but because I can easily imagine the bright red color of his face afterward.

How do I know about this? Simple, he came home and told me. Being that we’re on opposite sides of North America for the moment, I would have never known if he’d not told me. He did, which I like.

I’m sure it helps that he was probably 90% I wouldn’t care. And in reality I don’t. I might have been more upset if I’d found out about it weeks or months later, or if he makes a habit out of it. But, in the end I still probably would have just laughed it off.

You have to have a level of trust in any relationship. It doesn’t matter if you live together or not. You can’t micro-manage every aspect of your partner’s life and time. It just doesn’t work.

So, ladies and gents? How would you react to finding out your sig other was at the strip club 3 weeks ago and didn’t tell you? ‘Fess up.. I’m curious.


  • I agree that you should not micromanage your significant other.. if they want to go to strip club, over the long term either they will lie to you and go (thereby making a perfectly innocent activity now a betrayal of trust), or they will forever hold you responsible for not having seen any breasts other than at superbowl.

    By Blogger Peeyush, at 6:35 PM  

  • I would be pissed.

    Because I wasn't invited. ;)

    ANY reason for keeping ANY secret from your spouse signifies a problem. Doesn't matter if it's going to strip clubs or buying groceries. If you can't tell your significant other about innocent activities, there's a serious issue.


    By Blogger Garrison Steelle, at 8:33 PM  

  • My belle thought that I should write about this little incident myself, but she did instead. I finally decided one day that if I didn't get my muffler done soon, the neighbours would start objecting to the noise in the morning. So, off I went to the muffler shop. AFter booking my car in, I asked about a place for coffee. And you know the rest. For the record, this makes perhaps the fourth time that i've been in a bar that had exotic dancers.

    I got into a discussion with the bartender about the training dancers are required to do. I'd served a customer in a previous job that trained at least four hours a day to do the work of an exotic dancer. Note, folks, that this is a profession like any other, and certainly more demanding then most. The information I got from the lady behind the bar verified my old customer's statements. In addition to the training, they are required to groom rather carefully. Meticulously, even. So, I have a pretty good appreciation of the level of work a true professional.

    Anyways, I expect that, as I"m a man, most women(and a few men) are thinking I string a pretty good line. Well, you have a right, I suppose. But, as my friends here in the area I live can attest, it's no line. AS a rule, exotic dancers just don't blow my hair back. At all! I've discussed this with my lady, and she understands this. I have more appreciation for the lady who has taken the time to dress elegantly and make themselves up. It's this trouble, and the person within, that really makes me tingle(I expect to hear a chorus of ''Yeah, right!!!).

    In any event, I watched this dancer on stage while drinking my expensive coffee(with 1% milk, which the bartender helpfully placed in front of me, in a four litre jug). I considered the training and work, and decided to tip her. I expected that I'd just put it in her g-string, as I'd seen on TV. I had to ask the bartender what the procedure was, and what to tip. This should tell you what a neophyte I am. I went to gynacology row(now, THAT'S a lovely name), and folded it lengthwise, as instructed, and waited. She sees it, comes over does a bit of a dance, and says ''Put it between your teeth!''


    Not thinking to clearly after this command, I did as I was bid. The next thing i knew, I had two breasts nestled in my nose, and the money disappeared.

    Needless to say, I was redfaced, and bolted for the door. I guess, as a manly man, I should have reacted better, but I DID have to pick up my car from the shop......

    By Blogger Student of Life, at 8:54 PM  

  • I would be very, very angry.

    I mean hell i enjoy boobies too, maybe i wanted to go.

    By Blogger Amanda, at 8:55 PM  

  • Personally? I don't care.

    Does it really matter where he works up his appetite?

    Just so long as he eats at home.

    That and I know about it. I'd be none to happy knowin it was bein kept from me.

    By Blogger Shannon, at 11:50 PM  

  • I think if you hide anything from your sign. other, it loses it's innocence. And that's too strong of a word, perhaps, but it does.

    I know a woman that loves to shop. Her household budget is tight, so instead of shopping less, she gets her stuff, gets, home, and takes the tags off / opens the package whatever, puts it away, and hides the receipts and bags. Pretends those movies have always been on the shelf, the dress has been in the closet for a while, whatever.

    Same difference, I think.

    I think i've been to three, maybe four strip bars in the last twenty something years. Yes, I probably need to get out more, but they just aren't something big to me. If I go to one, I'll be sure to tell my wife. If possible, I'll tell her ahead of time and see if she wants to go, too.

    By Blogger Silly Old Bear, at 10:57 AM  

  • I doesn't bother me when my boyfriend goess to strip clubs. Him and his friends go about once a month or so. The drinks are a dollar so it saves money. It would be impossible to keep himaway from naked dancers. I don't want to be changed so why would I try to change him. If he lied to me I may be angry about it but that doesn't happen. Anyways when he gets home I get some!

    By Blogger All On My Own, at 5:25 PM  

  • I would SO not be worried if he called me and told me straight away. That shows you it was BIG news, you were the first person he wanted to share it with, and not something he was ashamed of. My husband tells me when/if he FLIRTS with someone.. cuz he's so surprized and proud of himself when he can do that. (He knows it's like breathing for me sometimes) For some reason I didn't even START flirting until after I was married. What is up with THAT?!?!?!)

    By Blogger Rebky, at 6:19 PM  

  • I would be furious... because he didn't take me ;)

    By Blogger Rae, at 7:04 PM  

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