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Letters to Nowhere

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Pop Tarts of DEATH

Allstate thinks so. The insurer is suing Kellogg on behalf of one of its policyholders, claiming that the snack treat caused a house fire that resulted in almost $11,000 in damage.

The suit, filed in Fulton County, Ga., joins other lawsuits filed in Ohio and New Jersey in claiming the pastry has caused house fires. Allstate's complaint alleges that Kellogg "negligently manufactured flammable Pop-Tarts." Allstate is also suing the toaster manufacturer, Hamilton Beach/Proctor-Silex.

While not claiming its Pop-Tarts are fire-retardant, Kellogg has denied that its pastry is the cause of any house fires.

Thank goodness I don’t work for Allstate. I mean really, Pop-Tarts?!? It’s food. Of course it’s flammable. I’m here to tell ya... I’m not eating anything that is labeled "fire-retardant".

OMG you mean if I put a pop-tart in the toaster it will get warm? Woo-freaking-Hoo this ends my days of cold clammy jelly filled toaster pastries.

More useless litigation using huge amounts of money and manpower, for nothing! You know what the real crime here is? The fact that there are people stupid, clumsy or unlucky enough to burn down their house with a friking POP-TART!!!. I am willing to bet this Georgia family is the same reason hair dryers have a warning that says "Do not use this device in the shower", or the "Do Not Iron Clothes While On Body".

I’ve eaten lots of pop-tarts in my time. I’ve eaten enough pop-tarts to build a life sized "gingerbread" house out of them. I’ve burnt a fair number of them. I’ve stood beside the toaster doing the "pee-pee dance" waiting for them. I’ve done the ‘this time I wont jump when the pop-tart pops’ staring contest with my toaster. But, I’ve never ever started a fire with them.

And trust me… If all the pot smoking teens that worship the tart haven’t burned down a million houses in munchy induced frenzies of pop-tart gorging... Well, you remember that ‘this is your brain (egg) this is your brain on drugs (fried egg)’ commercial? If those guys haven’t been burning down houses, what must that say about the people that DO manage to burn down a house with a POP-TART?!?

(Being in the insurance industry stories like this come to my attention from time to time. I do realize this is from a few years ago, but it was the first time I'd head about it)

8 Comments:

  • I'm not sure if I get more angry with the people who file such stupid law suits or the judges who allow them to actually stand.

    -G

    By Blogger Garrison Steelle, at 6:43 PM  

  • Crap, microwave popcorn could be next! Who HASN'T burned some of that?

    Silly lawyers need to keep busy.

    By Blogger Silly Old Bear, at 11:45 PM  

  • MEDIC!!!!!!!

    *gasping for air*

    Someone call 9-1-1!!!!!

    SUEEEEEEEEE

    Omg......I so need oxygen right now!!

    That has got to be one of the funniest posts I've read in a long time!!

    Thank you!!

    *wet slobbery kisses*

    By Blogger Shannon, at 11:46 PM  

  • I think its time for the Peachy one to take down the Frozen Tv Dinner empires of the world.

    By Blogger Amanda, at 11:50 PM  

  • Sheesh...that is just ridiculous!

    By Blogger Tricia, at 7:24 AM  

  • OMG!!! I want to know how they were able to meraculously survive said fire caused by the stupidity or a PoP Tart abuser?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:04 AM  

  • hey jenn,,check out this link,,roflmao http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&e=8&u=/ap/20050106/ap_on_fe_st/wacky_warnings

    By Blogger reesie, at 3:06 PM  

  • *grabs a couple of pap tarts...walks away from the hazardous toaster and warms them up by rubbing them together like a caveman trying to start a fire with sticks*

    Anyone know how long it may take before they are warm enough to eat??

    *shrugs*

    By Blogger Rae, at 1:50 AM  

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