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Letters to Nowhere

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Better living thru chemistry?

Whew.. Ok my adventures are mostly over so I'll recap for those of you not tuned in. Please overlook any stupid mistakes I make in the following. I am still not functioning at 100%

I went to the doc last week and was given Lexapro for general anxiety. When I got home I did the internet research on the drug. Normal side effects were noted: dizziness, nausea, daytime sleepiness, etc. Over the next few days I continued to take the med as prescribed and started having slight dizzy spells. The pharmacist said that was fairly normal and would go away as I got used to the drug.

Sunday night I was noticeably affected, my speech was slow, thoughts sluggish. I didn't really think to much of it.

Monday morning... hmm I don't remember much of Monday. Somehow I did get to work, get upstairs and at my work station. I don't remember any of that. I remember people hanging up on me on the phone because I couldn't talk. My supervisor realized something was wrong and took me to the company nurse.

They used my emergency contact on file to call my cousin Chris, I couldn't tell them the number or his last name. My blood pressure was dangerously low and I was all but unresponsive to verbal input. I vaguely remember asking if it was ok for me to sleep. They told me no, I could not go to sleep, I had to stay awake until someone came for me.

The nurse was asking questions about what I'd taken. My boss and I had discussed me starting the Lexapro back when I started it. He answered her. She was puzzled by my reaction to it. She asked me if I'd taken 2 or 3 doses at once. I answered her with a look that would have done a cow chewing cud credit. Huh? Wha?

Chris got there and took custody of me. He walked me to the truck. All I could say was, I feel funny, I'm sorry. Chris, god bless him, got me home and stayed with me long enough to make sure I was sleeping well, breathing properly, etc. In retrospect I probably should have gone to the hospital. I shudder to think of how close I may have come to ending up like my brother.

I saw my doctor Tuesday. I still was fuzzy in mind, and slow in physical reactions. She and I talked about what happened. I had been using a sample pack of the pills, I brought it in with me. She could see where I had written the days on the blister pack when I first got them so I could make sure I didn't forget a dose. I was right on schedule.. so it wasn't an overdose in traditional sense.

However... 3 yrs ago I had RNY gastric bypass surgery. As a result my digestive system is not exactly like it was pre-surgery. My doctor explained that what should have happened is that a certain level of the drug should have built up in my system and leveled off. For whatever reason that didn't happen. There was no leveling off of the drug. It kept accumulating in my blood until it had reached dangerous levels. That is the most likely theory we have. The other is that I may just be sensitive to that drug. We have no way of knowing why for sure.

I saw her again today. I can think pretty well now, I still have gray periods where I'll sit there and stare aimlessly off. Those are going away thankfully. She wont let me go back to work till Saturday. She wants to make sure my system is clear of the nervous system depression the drug put me into.

I remember almost none of Monday, and only a bit of Tuesday. As I started to come out of the fog Tuesday a few things became apparent.

#1 I was seriously fucked up.
#2 I tried to take a shower at some point.. but forgot to take off my clothes first. I found them in a sopping pile next to the shower.
#3 I spilled a 1/2 pot of coffee on the floor and just left it.
#4 There was a long, wide band of drying coffee creamer running down the kitchen cabinets.
$5 I found my cordless phone in the refrigerator.

Lexapro.. was bad.. very very bad.


  • awww...hope you feel a lot better now~

    sarah shireen

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:44 PM  

  • rolled into your site through Blog Explosion and wanted to say hi. Stop by my site, I am having a contest for a Christmas Stuffed Animal.


    By Blogger Brent, at 10:06 PM  

  • I'm glad things are better! I am also glad that the Dr is keeping you at home. You need time to recoup. Take care and Talk to you soon!

    By Blogger Love, at 11:26 PM  

  • Good god Jenn!

    I wondered what happened to ya or where you'd been. I'm sorry sweetie I should have known something was horribly wrong. I do hope and pray that you are okay now and that the doc finds something more suitable.

    And Brent......you stupid fucking moronic bastard. I hope you win your teddy bear and then promptly fuckin choke on it! Had you taken the time to read her entry then gotten a smidge curious as to what she was talking about you'd have realized that there is alot of shit going on in this womans' life and she almost died because she was trying to do what the docs told her to do so that she could cope with all the trauma in her life. But I guess the only trauma that you could relate to is not winning a stupid fucking teddy bear EH?

    *gets down off her soapbox, gives Jenn a peck on the cheek and whispers "call me if you need me."

    By Blogger Shannon, at 2:43 AM  

  • Oh my goodness, how the hell did you make it to work...driving no less. I am so sorry to hear that. Geez, that is so scary.

    I'm glad you're starting to feel better.


    By Blogger Anna, at 4:07 AM  

  • I haven't been reading for very long but I was beginning to get suspiscious about the silence. Glad you're on the upswing now. Take care of yourself.

    By Blogger Kirsten, at 4:12 PM  

  • Aw Shannon.. I never knew you cared! LOL Goobers, fucktards, and ass potatoes: Be warned. My friends luvs me, and they aren't shy about expressing their opinions.

    Thanks guys .. really

    By Blogger Red Clover, at 9:01 PM  

  • Shan just called me and after realising I hadn't seen your post yet today, she read to me your entire entry. OMG Jen, I can't believe how lucky you were...and yes in hindsight you should have probably gone to the hospital. Thank heavens you are on the mend. Take it easy hun, and don't go rushing back to work unless you are 100% sure you are ok! >:D<

    By Blogger JustSue, at 10:45 PM  

  • poor you...

    By Blogger mellowyellow, at 10:09 AM  

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