FBI, Thorough but slow....

I mailed my first request for proof of "a non-criminal record" to the FBI in October. January came around and I'd not gotten a response. I checked their website.

Waiting list... 16 to TWENTY WEEKS long. Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln...

On March 22nd I mailed a second set of "official" fingerprints and another letter requesting the information. I overnighted signature required this second request and wrote in blood red ink on every inch of white space on the envelope that it was a SECOND request.

I got it back TODAY!! They, actually, spent the time to locate my first request, and include it with my answer (including the 2nd 18 dollar money order).

All that they did was put 2 rubber stamps on the back of my first fingerprint card.

They say "NO ARREST HISTORY, FBI"


Jasus.. I've spent almost Five Months Of My Married LIFE waiting for a rubber-God Da.. uh .. I mean "God-Bless-America-STAMP!!!" Shit .. if I'd known that I would have forged it..

Son-of-a-biscuit-eater!!!