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Letters to Nowhere

Friday, September 15, 2006


There seems to be no end to the surprises that the family of this blog's host can offer up. As regular readers here know, Renee has had many challenges these past few years (not her usual name, by the way; she DOES like to exercise some anonymity for her family's sake. Hey, Grandma C, I expect you conveniently missed that point!!). I find some of the comments they've made here, and their conduct and treatment of the woman that I love, repugnant. I had looked forward to meeting other members of her family, and getting to know them, perhaps, or at least try to understand them. However, for the moment, I repudiate them. Go check a dictionary if you don't know the meaning.

Many of these people are members of the church. I think that is a wonderful thing. Although I've not attended services for many years, I think that joining in fellowship to worship is comforting and pleasing. I would point out to those that do worship that they should pay close attention to the lessons. And, if they have questions or need guidance, they should speak with a pastor that is learned and joyful in Christ. To those who have spoken disparagingly about the woman I wish to marry: Seek guidance. I would even say that they have not paid enough attention during the worship, and at the lesson. Let's look at a few choice commentaries from the New Testament......

“Therefore, thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things. But we are sure that the judgment of God is according to truth against them which commit such things. And thinkest thou this, O man who judgest them which do such things, and doest the same, that thou shalt escape the judgment of God? Or despisest thou the riches of His goodness and forbearance and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?” Romans 2:1-4

Correct me if I'm wrong, but does this not speak of not passing judgement on others; that this is God's work? It's something to bear in mind.

I'd like to point out that the family has had many challenges the past few years....pain, death, sickness, and sorrow. Now, in most families, this is the time when you need to come together and support one another, and put aside any friction that you might have between you. Instead I see, from some members of this family, an opportunity to revisit old arguments and find faults in others.

Judge not, that ye be not judged.
For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
Matthew 7:1-5

I am, indeed, sure that by chastising Renee, you feel you're taking the high road, the righteous path. What did Christ have to say about conceit? I believe it is a parable.....

Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.
The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.
I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.
I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

Luke 18:10-14

Grandma C, your comments and your conduct smack of self-exaltation.......

For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
Luke 14:11

Now, I don't walk in Christ like many of you do. Therefore, I probably will find it a challenge to meet you, and not speak my mind. Forgiveness will be hard to come by. However, if you're willing to listen to the advice of a heathen, I would suggest that you speak of your conduct to someone more learned than me. Check with your pastor, and be honest with what you have done and said. I recall from the teachings of Christ that he welcomed questions. I think you should think on how you treat this lady. She has raised a fine son, and gives of herself to her family, fully and often. She gives of herself to her siblings and her mother. Uh huh, she has a sharp tongue, coupled with a brilliant mind, and perhaps you can't understand her. But you must accept her. She does the very best she can, and frankly, that's very good.

You've known her longer, but I think I perhaps know her better. She loves deeply, and without reservation. The things you say are hurtful, and not in keeping with the teachings about the love that Jesus had for all of us. As an agnostic, I expect this won't carry much weight with you. That's why I suggest you find an unbiased shepherd to help guide you.

As for this child of God, don't expect me to do any backflips when I meet you. I have to confess that I have a hard time being congenial to hypocrites. I've been one myself, and trust me, they aren't worthy of anyone's time.

Before I finish my malcontented diatribe (yeah, dig out the dictionaries again, people, I know understanding comes hard....), let me point out why the sisters were giggling at the funeral. After all the heartache and sorrow they have suffered, especially at this time of year, remember, they sought solace in each other's company. They'd not seen each other in a very long time, and the last time was gathered over another pine box. Funerals are not just for closure, but to celebrate the person's life, and celebrate being alive! I can't speak for Andy, but I know for a fact John was perhaps more alive then any of you. I hear Grandpa was pretty perky, too.

God, we're sending a good man back to you; thanks for letting us have him for a while.....

So, let me know what you've decided. I look forward to seeing Renee and son. Also her cousin, mother, and the others I was fortunate to meet the last time I was down. Folks like you..well.....Paul had his epiphany on the way to Damascus. I guess one hopes for the best.


  • Les I loved when you give an English lesson with your rants ;)

    *Hands out dictionaries to all who need them*


    By Blogger Rae, at 1:51 PM  

  • Student of Life,

    Even the devil can quote the scriptures. Use the KJV if you are going to quote. The Bible also states that the saints of God will judge others. Voicing an opinion about what is hurtful to others is not being a hypocrit. Yes, I agree from reading about the tradgedies of this family in the last 2 years, that they have suffered some deep losses. However, you must understand that even as your lady love's mother has lost her son, and your lady love a brother, so has her grandmother and his siblings. You would think that knowing the kind of heartache and pain they went through, they would be more understanding. It doesn't matter what church or affiliation you are, GOD's house is still HIS house, and it should be respected as much. As you can see, Grandma C. stated the the lady that was running was healed of 9 differant cancers. If GOD had healed me of that many cancers, I too would run and tell EVERYBODY what GOD had done for me. Didn't she also state that her cousin is fighting breast cancer again? Well, would the comments that were made be said over a young persons coffin if she were to not survive this battle? I know her brother was young, but her uncle was not all that old either. Mid 50's is not old anymore. Everyone DOES have a right to their opinion, whether we agree or not. This Grandma was just upset because of her grief in the loss of her son. Do you have children? How would you react if they were to die? Would you like people to make fun of your loved one? I think not. Why do people always have to hurt the ones they love by showing such disrespect in this type of situation? Let bygones be bygones. Let this Mother grieve in peace, after all her heart has been broken so many times in the last 2 years that she is probably still trying to come to grips with losing her husband and then her grandson. That's 2 grandsons, 1 husband and now a son, that she has lost in a relatively short period of time. I'm sure that she did not intend to sound so judgmental, but you are apt to say and react in unsual ways when under such stress. Give this whole family a break. Yes, it is good that you stick up for the one you love, but wasn't that what she was trying to do? It doesn't matter what has went on before, leave this matter alone to heal itself. After all, family is still family and when the going gets tough, I know that this family would stick up for each other. The world doesn't need another Hatfield-McCoy feud going on with the unrest of the world going on. I think that maybe you had better research the Bible again and see what it says about the end times. These things will happen and come to pass about mothers against daughters, sons against fathers, etc. May MY GOD RICHLY BLESS YOU AND SAVE YOUR SOUL.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:03 PM  

  • There is a reason I almost never bring up religion here, or in person, for that matter. There is no agreement or harmony to be had. With that said many of the same things my beau stated passed through my mind.

    I find it interesting that Grandma's statements and comments can be excused by the fact it was an emotional time for her, but my comments can't/couldn't/won't be.

    As for using only the KJV to quote from, that is ridiculous. That is insinuating that any person that calls themselves a Christian is somehow less of one if they use NIV, NLT, etc. Many a new convert has been made only because they could read the bible in “real” English, or because they read a passage from a Gideon’s in a cheesy hotel room in a moment of need.

    Again, I'm not going to try to argue religion. There are very, very few people I WILL discuss religion with because it generally results in nothing but finger pointing and name calling i.e.: Even the devil can quote scripture. There is no logic in faith, it defies logic and therefore defies reason. There are many things I could say and could have said, both at the funeral and in my response to what I consider hate mail from my grandmother. But there is no reason to do so. Where belief is concerned, anyway, we don't even speak the same language.

    I will not apologize for anything I’ve said, I don’t expect my beau to apologize. I will not apologize for the truthful telling of my thoughts and feelings. I’m not holding my breath to ever receive an apology from any of my family. Insincere apologies do no one any good.

    I don’t want to see a family feud anymore than anyone else. But this IS my website; I share it with the man I love. If something is bothering me, and as a result bothers him, it will probably end up here.

    I always welcome comments, even those I disagree with. One sign of intellectual honesty is being able to entertain an opinion, even if you don’t agree with it.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:09 PM  

  • Good point about the King James Version. I usually try to use that when possible. Thank you for the correction. I still believe Grandma C should talk to her pastor about her reactions. She might be more balanced in her comments to her granddaughter. Uh huh, the devil says, go talk to your pastor. You really should note the WHOLE blog comment, sport.

    However, I appreciate your opinion, and thank you for the non-confrontational way you presented it. I also solicit opposing points of view.

    By Blogger Student of Life, at 9:51 PM  

  • I think that ALL of you are some kind of weird. IS this stuff real? Surely not!! Whoever writes this stuff might want to consider writing a book. It would make a great fiction novel. This reminds me of the song Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. It is both kinda funny but yet a sad thing also. This Rae girls comment about grandma c - classic, has she ever seen a grandmas rear end? How does she know it is wrinkled? I thought everyones was!!. Oh well, everything will come the same way no matter who you are.

    By Anonymous Jonny Mac, at 5:20 PM  

  • whOOt!!

    Truer words were never more spoken Student. Tragically, it is those that need to hear your message the most that won't. Those that do hear it, often times won't believe that the message applies to them.

    Tragic really.

    Big hugs to you both.


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:13 AM  

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