Dear Red Cross

First let me thank you for the pure hilarity of getting to pass out juice and cookies at your last vampiric appearance at my work place.

I would like to say thank you for the opportunity to watch "manly" men turn green and, in two cases, faint. That alone was worth the torture of having to watch Brandon Frasier in The Mummy not once but twice.

I would like to make a few suggestions if I may..

You are in Georgia. Central Georgia, I might point out. I heard you lamenting the steadily dropping donation rates from men. I present to you..

Red's suggestions for more blood:

1. Set up shop inside a Hooters restaurant.

2. Instead of juice and cookies offer Budweiser and Moon Pies.

Special note: If you combine No. 1 and No. 2 you will have men that will allow you to take 2, hell, maybe even 3 pints at once.

3. Try to encourage younger, friendlier women to serve as the collection crew. Even I was turned off by Grandma Moses walking around holding what could have been a colostomy bag. Not an incentive to get men to show up frankly.


Just a few observations I had. Even still.. I'll volunteer again the next time you come... Just for the laughs.