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Letters to Nowhere

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Power P

First let me say that all in all I like my job.. really I do.

Working for ABC Insurance is not a bad thing. We have excellent benefits, a reasonable pay scale for my area, 401K, profit sharing, and I have one of the best supervisors that I've had in my 7 years there.

The downside, they micro manage our time.

For example. I get to work at 8:25 sign on the computer and get ready to start serving the masses by 8:30. My lunch is 11:30 to 12:00. My break 2:30 to 2:45. I sign out at 4:25.

God forbid you get off the phone for any reason other than the lunch and break. You MUST take your lunch and break on time and be back on time or it is considered a Tardy. If you are more than 59 SECONDS late signing on in the morning it is a Tardy. If you exceed 3 tardies in a year you go on warning. Your 4th tardy bye bye ABC Insurance.

In order for me to be considered "excellent" (which hell you know me I wanna be excellent) I have to be on the phone 99% of the time I'm scheduled (not including lunch and break)

Soooo... If I have use the restroom I have to weigh my options. Either I leave my station and go, thus dropping my sign in time down to "good or acceptable" or I hold it till lunch, break, or time for me to leave for the day.

Often I can't do this. Enter the Power Pee.

Sign off the phone.. walk as quickly as I can across the football field sized building to the restroom (why oh why can't my section be closer to the bathroom). Dash inside.. unclothe.. sit and well.. power pee. This is where you apply equal force to your bladder as I once did to push out my 10 lb son. Total time after sitting to empty straining bladder.. 35 seconds.

Stand up, re clothe, wash hands, jog back to desk, back on the phone, taking a call.

Total time to Power Pee.. usually 3-4 mins.

And for the record I can take one Power Pee a day and still be "excellent" in my time.


  • You know, somehow I'm pretty sure that such horribly enforced penalties against natural and necessary bodily functions constitutes cruel treatment and as such is illegal ...

    or it should be.


    By Blogger Garrison Steelle, at 7:14 PM  

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