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Letters to Nowhere

Monday, July 26, 2004

No cell phone here!

I had some legal "stuff" I had to attend to today. I made a few calls and had to go see a few people. Every call I made asked me the same question. Let me get your cell number so I can get back to you.

Well, ladies and gents I don't OWN a cell phone. Yeah I said it.. no cell phone here. People where in shock. One gentleman I met with today in person asked for my cell number and when I told him I didn't own one.. well, he looked at me like I'd sprouted a third arm, possibly right between my eyes. By now I was getting a bit pissy about the whole issue. So.. sadly.. I went into a tirade.

Look here, mister... I spend between 7.15 and 7.50 hours a day on the phone. Tied to it in fact by a 4 foot cord leading to a headset, giving customer service to some of the lowest bottom feeding idiots in the cosmos. So when I leave work I want to be as difficult to reach as possible. Do you have a problem with that? I'm sure I can find another person to handle this matter for me if that's going to bunch your panties too tightly! (at least I did have enough presence of mind to avoid cussing like a sailor)

He did have the courtesy to look slightly abashed and apologized to me for making me feel "inferior" (his exact word) That did not, in anyway, sooth my ire. In fact.. I almost bit my tongue off trying to keep from going postal. Grrrrr..

So my mood today at work was less than perky. I got several calls that drove me to distraction! My boss was monitoring a call I had from a dealership rep. It went something like this:

Rep: Hi, Imcallingfrompembrookpinesfloridaregardingpolicynumber12345678doesshehavecoverage?

(This person clearly was related to the micro machine man.. or possibly worked pig and cattle auctions as a side job)

Me: Could you state that in a manner that I might actually be able to understand your question?

Rep: huh? (I repeat my statement) OH.. wellimcallingfrom pembrookpinesflorida onpolicynumber

Me (interrupting her): Ma'am? Are you speaking English?

(at this point my boss, who I did not know was listening in starts laughing his ass off in his office. I can see him gasping for breath and pounding the desk)

Once she finally slowed down and I could understand her I answered her questions.... as ... slowly.... as.... possible....

Me: Theeeeeee... polllicyyyy.... will..... expire.... onnnnnn... deeeeecemberrrr....twennnnty-fourthhhhhh...

When I got finished with the call my supervisor broke into my line and asked me to come see him... So I go into his office.. and he says "great call, I LOVE the way you handled it.. however home office wouldn't be so pleased. Be careful in the future. Why don't you take an extra break on me, get a cup of coffee.. have a smoke.." He was laughing so hard through all this I almost couldn't understand him.


  • Omg Jenn , that call sure made his day and mine too, I was laughing too, thanks gf , u made my day lol 0x0x0x

    By Blogger moon, at 8:48 PM  

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