Why I changed pharmacies

After the last .. um service I received, I called the 800 complaint line for the company. I explained what had gone on the last time I was in the store.

The corporate representative I spoke to was.. to be honest.. speechless. She stumbled her way through an apology, advised me she had never personally heard of an "event" that disrespectful, and (her words) "possibly illegal". It's as illegal as HELL in the US to release ANY type of medical information to anyone other than a spouse without written permission, unless we're talking a minor then it can only be given to a parent/legal custodian/child protective services.

She promised me that the owner of that franchise would call me within 72 hours to discuss "what could be done to assure I was a satisfied customer". I truthfully explained to her that YES I wanted to speak with them. But that I'd never again enter the door of that location, and most likely never that company, regardless of location. Ehem, I didn't mention that I was moving out of the country soon... and so wouldn't have to worry about it anyway. I felt that would undermine my point.

She was good; I'll give her that. She could fake sincerity like few I've ever seen. I was impressed. I told her I'd consider my options in the future. The reality is I won't.

I've already registered our insurance information with a major chain-type pharmacy 25 miles away. I just filled 4 prescriptions costing $100 there. They have a drive-through! I've not used them more than once or twice in the past because they were horribly out of my way. But.. truth to tell the "doc in a box" (after hours urgent care, not quite enough for the emergency room.. but you still need {or think you do} a doctor RIGHT NOW) is only a few miles from them, and I have to pass them on the way back from our regular family doctor's office. From work it's only 5 - 10 miles out of the way. No matter... HELLO NEW PHARMACY!!

I've not heard from the owner of the "now defunct" pharmacy yet, but I'm curious as HELL to find out what tact they take, and how they plan to smooth things over. They can't NOT call. I have a valid reason to sue. I wont do it, but they don't know that. They will call.

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More Horrible Analogies and Metaphors found in High School Essays (first installment):

1. "Oh, Bruce, take me!"she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on a $1-a-beer night.
2. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
3. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.
4. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
5. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.
6. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
   
7. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
8. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.