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Letters to Nowhere

Thursday, September 08, 2005

How much lovin' is too much lovin'

One of the ladies at work was complaining of being tired a few days ago. I made the mistake of asking why. Her current "pretend husband", her term not mine, is a 3 hour lover.

Now to clarify that, we aren't talking about including foreplay, dinner, disrobing, a movie or anything other than the tab A into slot B portion of the festivities. He's a real, non stop not a single missed stroke in 3 hours, lover.

While this in theory sounds good, in reality it kinda sucks. After awhile you get TIRED! Your legs, hips, back, knees etc start hurting. She said at one point she actually spoke aloud "Now I know what a rape victim feels like" Men.. that's the clue to STOP. hahahahaha

Seriously though.. all us ladies chipped in and decided that as long as you've taken the time to pre-heat the oven *really good oral/foreplay etc* that all we really need is 20-45 mins and we are happy.

One lady went so far as to say, "anything over 10 mins is just gravy. That's just him having fun. I've already gotten mine."

I can relate to what she means. I mean really, 3 hours!

Sure the "it's Sunday morning and we're barely moving, kisses, and touches" 3 hour love-a-thon are great from time to time. But I am not a friken tambourine. If you think you're going to be pounding me for 3 hours .. well I hate it.. I've got stuff that I need to do.. now let me up so I can fix a sandwich!

5 Comments:

  • 3 hours! jeeze... if i get one i'm well pleased. Have a great weekend

    By Anonymous mellowyellow, at 1:37 PM  

  • Three hours without a break? no, no, no, no, no. That's not good for anyone!

    -G

    By Blogger Garrison Steelle, at 2:13 PM  

  • Is he training for a marathon?

    ("Ironman." Heh)

    Seriously, even if you CAN go for three hours, wouldn't a little variety spice things up?

    (three hours. That's Lord of the Rings long. That's take a plane from Dallas to New York City long.)

    Maybe he could spread that around? Does she have any friends that aren't getting any? She could distract him real quick (with the lights off, ya know) by saying "hey, I think I heard something!" and then when his back is turned somebody else could slip in and give her a break. Pinch hitter, so to speak.

    By Blogger Silly Old Bear, at 4:01 PM  

  • 3 hours? Im usually bored after 45 minutes.

    After all, I am the girl who once screamed, "GET OFF ME, I WANT TO SEE THIS DIXIE CHICKS VIDEO!!!!"


    For the record, I hate the Dixie chicks.

    By Blogger Amanda, at 1:24 AM  

  • I think too much lovin occurs when your classmate comes up to you and says in whispered tones "I have an itch" and she didn't get it from her partner.

    She got it from her vibe!

    Now THAT my friends is too much lovin!

    By Blogger Shannon, at 6:16 AM  

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