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Letters to Nowhere

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

3 faces of mom

My mother.. good lord. What can I say about mom? Well, she changes direction more than an oscillating fan. She can make Sybil look well adjusted and stable.

I've grown used to the fact that she has EXTREME mood swings. Over the last ten years I've come to realize that I have 3 mothers. One is religious mom. Then there is party mom. My favorite mom is middle mom. Middle mom is somewhere between the extremes.

Religious mom drives me crazy. She'll be deep fried religious for some length of time. Could be 4 days or 7 months... you just never know. She'll decide she has to "get right with God", spend an unholy amount of money on gospel music and Christian books, tapes, stickers, whatever she can find. She will harp about my lifestyle.. I'm not married, I've got a child out of wedlock, I wear pants, and cut my hair, blah, blah, blah. She'll never quit drinking though. Apparently the only reason Jesus didn't turn the water into Wild Turkey was because the apostles didn't want to add too many keystrokes to the bible. lol She's spent the last several months as religious mom.

Party mom.. well, party mom is out there. Drugs, alcohol, shocking behavior of all types are the sign party mom is making a come back. Pot, cocaine, Zany bars (zanax), shrooms, ecstasy, and gallons of liquor are not out of the question when she's in party mom mood.

Middle mom is pretty ok. Fairly responsible, she still drinks, but she has a healthy respect for god (in my opinion). Middle mom is the only one I can stand to be around for more than 15 minutes. It's also the one time I'm really comfortable allowing my son to spend any time with her.

Well, as some of you know my 24 yr old brother is now living in mom's house. He's been fighting a crack addiction .. and doing very well I might add. He still drinks way more than I'd like .. but one thing at a time I guess. While mom was in religious mode she decided to help him clean up and be a good example for him.

My mother came home this weekend. With Zany Bars. Not good. First thing she does is offer some to my brother.. great example mom! Oh but he can only have some if he snorts it. A drunken drug induced weekend of bickering between her and her husband drove my brother to come to my house last night for some sanity. He brought his beer of course.

I'm asking how things are going, the usual. He begins to tell me all about mom and how psychotic she can be.. like I didn't know! Mom gets home and makes the statement to my bro that all she could get was Zanax she wanted coke. Oh goody! When they ran out of zanies she actually had the following conversation with the gas station clerk

Mom: Hey can you get me any behind the counter stuff?
Clerk: What do you mean?
Mom: I want some coke or zany bars.. oh will you date my son?

My brother was praying to be struck by lightning. Said he hadn't been that embarrassed in years. And I cant blame him.

So what sage words of wisdom did my mother have for my recovering drug addict brother... Don't go out and buy drugs.. I'll be home every 2 weeks now and I'll bring something with me.

GRRRR *deep breaths* I about lost it when J (my bro) told me that!

My sister called my mother this past weekend drunk as a skunk (do you see a trend w/ my family yet?) Sis was crying and carrying on .. mom hung up on her.. now I've been tempted to a time or two.. but really! I asked mom what she was crying about.. mom says.. Oh I wasn't really paying attention.. but I think the new boyfriend may have hit her. WTF!!! NOT PAYING ATTENTION.. and you hung up on her? I ask... Yeah she was just bringing me down. I had a good buzz going. Jesus wept! At that point I hung up on mom.. it was safest.

So.. now you get a glimpse at my mother and siblings.. I love them.. I really do.. I just don't like them much alot of the time. Party mom is back. This means I wont be seeing much of her for awhile. I cant be around that shit. I wont let my son be around that kind of behavior.

Now you know why I call my mother by her given name. Now you know why I often avoid them like the plague when they are like this. Now you know... I love them so much, but the drama, strife, and depression they sometimes wallow in is not something I chose to endure.

Please, pray middle mom makes a speedy comeback!


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