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Letters to Nowhere

Saturday, September 24, 2005


You know… I really like toast. No… No I LOVE toast. Hot buttered toast… mmmm

When my mother says she wants butter on her toast what she really means is she doesn't want butter. She may as well just hold up the toast in one hand, the butter in the other and say, “I'd like you to meet Mr. Butter” and then tap the toast against the outside of the butter dish. What she really does is scrape up a layer of butter that is approximately 4 molecules deep, and then spreads the SMELL over the bread.

You know those little pats of butter they used to give in restaurants, the little cardboard square with the wax paper covering the little square of butter? Yeah… well she'd use that on a whole LOAF of toast.

I don’t like a lot of butter. I do want enough that for a fraction of a mili-second you can actually see a hint of yellow on the bread before it melts. Come on work with me here! Is that too much to ask WOMAN?!? .. Um… yeah where was I... Hi mom!

So, I like toast. Hot buttered toast that actually has some physical butter spread on it.


  • I often make 4 slices at a time, but I hate it when the first piece is all melty with butter and by the time you get to buttering the last piece, it's cooled enough not to melt the butter all the way.

    Solution? Stack them in reverse order with the really melty one on top. The heat from the top one melts the butter on the one below.

    Ahh, the practical applications of thermodynamics in daily life. :)

    By Anonymous WishX, at 6:48 PM  

  • here's something for you to try. pepperidge farm makes flavored bread, french vanilla,,and cinnamon roll,one other i think, BUT the french vanilla one makes killer toast!! makes awesome french toast too if you're in the mood for that. >:D<

    By Blogger reesie, at 10:24 PM  

  • You're really bored arent you?

    By Blogger Amanda, at 10:58 PM  

  • Try instead of bread...


    OMG! *drool*

    Toasted then slathered in butter *drool drool* and then put the two pieces back together....*salivating like Pavlov's pooch*

    Okies, I gotta go.

    *searches for more croissants*

    By Blogger Shannon, at 12:45 PM  

  • Croissants aren't crunchy though,, ya gotta have that crunch when you bite into it ,,,lol

    By Blogger reesie, at 5:35 AM  

  • What about sugar and cinnamon on your buttered toast?

    By Blogger MarkD60, at 9:04 AM  

  • Sugar and cinnamon rules.

    By Blogger Justice, at 10:30 AM  

  • Even better:

    home-made bread.

    Sliced thick, while it's still warm.

    Buttered and toasted slightly.

    By Blogger Silly Old Bear, at 11:45 AM  

  • ya'll are makin me hungry dammit!

    By Blogger Shannon, at 4:03 PM  

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