Kids Cost

I have fallen in love with one of the Sun Conures we have at work. I have forbidden Chris to sell me the bird though. Even before all my other financial trouble.. I just don’t have $300 to pay for a bird. (That’s including my 25% employee discount) And besides, I’m cheap. I just can’t see paying that kind of money for an animal.

I have sold dogs.. lots of dogs lately. It boggles my mind that people will pay a thousand dollars for a DOG!

I only paid my midwife $750 for my SON. But, supply and demand is god in retail. And believe me, there are people with far too much money than is good for them.

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Ok, I should be up for some kind of medal. Really I should. I did NOT laugh in the face of a customer today. It was a close call. But I was up to it.

Customer: Ok this chick was BLIND.. serious coke bottle lenses. She had exactly 5 teeth. All on the bottom, front. All of her teeth were perfectly rounded her mouth looked like this --> nmnn --- And she had dear god, she had the thickest, hick-est accent I've ever heard out of the movies. That alone was worth a really good repeat to my cousin. But noooo it got worse.

Customer: How much are the cockatoos?
Me: $85 (watching with morbid fascination as her rounded teeth bob up and down)
Customer: (lots of banal and fairly common questions THEN) I want to teach it to play a good game of checkers can I do that?
Me: Uh, no. It may be able to move a piece with it's beak or claw but never really play.
Customer: Why not?
Me: Birds just don't have the brain power needed to do that.
Customer: Well I really want the bird but someone said they get mites.
Me: Yes all birds can get mites and we have products to treat it if needed.
Customer: Like little traps you mean?
Me: Well...
Customer: I really want it but they get mites.. and my husband said he doesn't want rats in the house
Me: rats?
Customer: I know they aren't really rats but rats and mites are just about the same thing.
Me: Can you excuse me for a minute. I need to blow my nose? (cue the sound of me bolting to the back and stifling hysterical laughter)

Chris came in to check on me.. I told him the story and we were both about to die.

Me: (the consummate professional once again) Excuse me, I'm sorry. Ma'am I think you may be confused. Mites are not rodents. Mites and Mice are two different things. Mites are like fleas..
Customer: Ohhhh