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Letters to Nowhere

Thursday, October 14, 2004

No nookie in dream land

I dreamed about my beau a few nights ago. In the dream we were cuddled up on the couch listening to "Let's get it on", a song we both like.

I told him about the dream and his question was .. Do I EVER get beyond 3rd base in your dreams?

The answer is No. I've never been one to have sexually oriented dreams. I can't think of a single dream where Tab A and Slot B ever fit together. This could be a good thing though since I usually dream in 3rd person. I'd hate to just be watching all that hot action.

The following day I was at work and thinking about the above conversation. When I suddenly burst out laughing my co-workers looked at me like I'd suddenly decided to pull out the machete and attack! kill, maim, fresh hot death (with free delivery).. oh wait.. where was I .. yeah yeah dreams..

What got me to laughing was the realization that if I had been a male I would have had to lie about all my sordid little nocturnal emissions dreams. I mean really you can't tell your buddies you dreamed about banging Jessica Rabbit if you never even got her dress off. (Ok I have NO idea where Jessica Rabbit came from but anyway)

I've been given instruction in how to 'direct' my dreams on several occasions, due to my severe insomnia and chronic nightmares. I never really achieved much success at it. I decided to try last night, for farts and giggles, to see if I even COULD have sex in my dreams.

I drifted off to sleep with the opening frame firmly in mind. Something that would be mutually enjoyable in real life.. things progressed as normal.. until... it was time to remove clothing.

He reaches for the small button.. but now it's suddenly too large to fit through the button loop. We struggle with the button.. ok screw the button. Let try the panties. Uh no. Didn't work. They kept getting caught, snagged, stuck, or in some fashion prevented from being removed. The only piece of clothing that did get removed was my stockings. Finally, in my dream, we both realize how absurd this is and break out in hysterical laughter, collapse on the bed, and snuggle up as the chuckles die out.

So guess what hun? You didn't get any last night either.

8 Comments:

  • Thank god I'm not the only one not getting any!

    By Blogger Shannon, at 9:29 PM  

  • LOL! Surfed in on Blog Explosion.

    By Blogger Ann, at 9:37 PM  

  • Weird, i always seem to score in my dreams :P Maybe i know how to direct my subconcious to make me a player :P

    By Blogger American Blogger, at 11:40 PM  

  • Is it strange that i have alot of porno dreams....and i always get some nookie in them......*note to self, send Vin Diesal a thank you card for last night*

    By Blogger Amanda, at 1:09 AM  

  • damn I think I get it more in dream land then I do in reality land...
    *note to self send Peachy and Vin a thank you note for last night*

    By Blogger Rae, at 3:21 AM  

  • So glad I am not built like you... whenever a girl responded to my request of "shall we do it" with "in your dreams", I had no trouble obliging!

    As a matter of fact, it was some of the best sex I had :)

    By Blogger Peeyush, at 3:58 AM  

  • i too have this terrible tendancy to think of funny things and burst out laughing. i leave a trail of confused people in my midst...
    luckily, my subconcious is very extravagent and dream gettin' it on is great. unfortunately, my fiance doesn't have the same great attribute as i. his sexy dreams usually end up with us getting in a fight...

    By Blogger From my window..., at 5:42 AM  

  • Ironically, I feel that way with my wife: never getting past 3rd. We definitely have some, ahem, sexual relationship problems.

    By Blogger Me, at 10:13 PM  

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